When I was a child I rember this jingle , as a mater of fact it is from this jingle that I think I may of started out enjoying wetting myself, I would stand out side and start the jingle and wet myself before I got to the bathroon. I think it went something like this:
How dry i am
How wet I’ll be
If I can’t find
The bathroom key
I found the key
I opened the door
To late now it’s on the floor
Don’t remember it, but I like the idea a lot.
I never heard of it but I do remember on school we signaled bathroom by raising our hand up with our thumb tucked between our middle and index finger in a fist.
Well it was from back in the fifties when I was a kid
I looked it up found a version by Kay Shapero
Apparently it was also on children’s cartoons too
How dry I am
How wet I’ll be
If I don’t find
The bathroom key
I found the key
Now where’s the door?
It’s too late now
It’s on the floor
Around here the second verse was:
I found the key
I opened the door
It’s too late now
Clean up the floor.
ROTFLMAO!!! It’s been a long long time since I’ve heard that sing-song rhyme!! Thank you for bringing it back!
We were horrible children. In my grade school they sang this one:
Fatty fatty two by four
couldn’t fit through the bathroom door,
so she did it one the floor,
licked it up and did some more.
No wonder there’s no hope for America. We’re all idiots!
OMG!!! My mother sang a variation of that (a marginally cleaner variation) when my sister and I were kids. Until now I thought it was a regional concoction or even my grandmother’s handiwork. Hers went like this:
Fatty fatty two by four
can’t get through the kitchen door,
so she did it one the floor,
now she smells like horse manure
Makes me wonder how this stuff spread pre-Internet.
Returning to the original thread, I never heard that rhyme, but remember a scenario, maybe mostly from westerns, where the penniless town drunk would beg for a beer by singing
How dry I am
How dry I am
Nobody knows
How dry I am
It may have been used in a Twilight Zone. When my mind starts racing over ABDL stories, I think about an incontinent frat brother begging for diapers. I know, it’s mean. 
Kids spreading information to their friends was our internet.
Yes it was and it worked pretty effectively too
When kids traveled with their parents they would share with kids they went to visit. This was often effective enough to spread sayings, songs, games and gossip quite a distance. Back when I was young even long distance phone calls were rare and a big deal. I may sound like a grumpy old man but I preferred letters to much of this immediate communication as you had time to think and give consideration to what you were going to say when writing which is something I find myself failing to do with the internet. I think that I need a “take it back button” for my social media accounts.
Haven’t heard either one of them (fatty How dry I am ) in a very long time! Thanks for the memories.
never too late to resume writing and sharing letters. After all, who doesn’t like GETTING a letter?
I agree writing letters was always a really good way to communicate , my wife has dozens of letters the I wrote to her all tied up with a little ribbon and bow…, of course I don’t have any that she wrote me …must be a guy thing lol
Nah, I’m not a letter-saver either. But every once in a while I’ll be visiting a friend and notice a funky card I sent them in the past is either framed or nailed to wall with a push tack. Another payoff to sending letters and cards.
I have all the letters that my boy friend wrote to me after we graduated from college. He was drafted and sent to Alaska and I went to work. Unfortunately for him, I met the girl of my dreams and married her. But I still have his letters and we still communicate, now by email. He’s still my best friend and always will be.
I’m a child of the 50’s and can remember hearing this song as a very young child, however it is actually a song about being dry because of a lack of alcohol. it was written by Irving Berlin in 1919.
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I distinctly remember a Looney Tunes episode where Bugs Bunny sings “How Dry I am, How dry I am, Nobody knows, how dry I am”. I think he was stuck in a desert at the time.
I remember it like this:
How dry I am
How wet I’ll be
If I can’t find
The bathroom key
I found the key
Behind the door
But it’s too late
It’s on the floor…
It never made any sense to me. If the key was behind the door, how did I open the presumably locked door to get the key?: