My boyfriend wears diapers 24/7 and is a little, once dating he asked me to become more involved. I change him any time that he likes, get him little presents ie onsies, diapers, bottles, coloring books, stickers, toys ect that go along with his preferred age. Trying to be as supportive as possible.
My boyfriend is little in and out all the time and that is where our struggle lies, I never know when or where he will suddenly become little and its sometimes takes me by surprise as I have never experienced this with any previous partner before, it is not a fetish of mine but I love my boyfriend and want to make him happy.
Recently he has become increasingly upset about the difficulties I have knowing what to do with his sudden personality changes anywhere/ any time.
I have offered that we try set little time for a a couple hours certain days multiple times a week when we see eachother so that I am able to provide the attention, affection and “mommy” like behavior he requests and be prepared for the personality shift.. however he refuses that option.
I’m not sure what to do, sometimes I just don’t have the ability to suddenly switch my personality to what he wants as it dosen’t come naturally to me..
He doesn’t realize how d@mn lucky he is… I wish my husband would change me, spoil me, and make me feel little! My husband barely knows I exist anymore.. Honestly though, I think it would be good for you two to set up communication. Maybe a code word or something for when he’s starting to feel little. Also maybe if you aren’t feeling up to being mommy at the moment, give him an activity he can do by himself and still be little! Have him do a coloring book, watch kids shows/movies, play with his toys, etc. Heck maybe even if you have the space set up a designated little play area for him where he can play if you don’t have the energy to participate. It’s okay to not be mommy 24/7, you deserve breaks. You’re human too and your feelings are just as valid. As much as I want my husband to baby me 24/7 I don’t expect it of him, especially due to how depressed he is and the fact that he’s still grieving the loss of his mother. Even though it’s been over a year now he’s still in a lot of pain and I don’t force my expectations on him when he can barely keep his head above water. You need to have a talk with your little and set up some serious boundaries otherwise he’ll walk all over you and suck you dry emotionally. He needs to understand that he’s being manipulative by making you feel guilty for not giving into his every little whim and want. It’s okay to say no. It’s okay to want to be an adult and have an adult partner. I understand why he’s upset, don’t get me wrong, but I also understand why you’re upset. There needs to be clear boundaries set if it’s going to work. He needs to understand and respect your feelings as well. You’ve been nothing but doting and caring. He can’t expect you to be an emotionless pleasure robot that just gives him what he wants all the time. That’s unfair and honestly borderline abusive. Have an honest conversation with him and tell him how it’s making you feel. He’s burdening you too much and he needs to realize it. Honestly this made me reconsider my feelings and behaviors as a little! I never realized how jarring it must be for my husband for me to go from 24 to 5 to 24 to 5 again! I might set up a code word system or something with my hubby honestly. This post helped me kind of realize that I can be unfair too at times. It’s hard to not get caught up in craving and needing that affection, attention, warmth, and love. But we get so caught up in it and chasing that feeling that we neglect our partner’s feelings and wishes. Not all littles do this obviously but honestly it seems to happen a lot, with any couple in general, not just ABDL/AGERE couples. Best of luck to you. I hope he realizes how good he has things and that he needs to take a step back and stop being so selfish. Your needs deserve to be met too!!! Always remember that. His feelings are NOT more important than yours.
TLDR: your feelings matter, talk to him about it, set up a littlespace code word, don’t let him emotionally drain you, and make sure that he doesn’t take you for granted!
First of all, he is lucky to have you and I hope he knows that. I can understand why he’s refusing a time schedule though. We all have triggers that can go off at any time. Maybe you and he could talk about if there is some way he could give you a “heads up” before he goes into LittleSpace. Good luck, and don’t give up on him!
He needs to tell you what he wants and needs. Especially if this isnt your kink. He should also being asking what YOU WANT AND NEED. This isn’t a one way street. Quite the opposite. CG’s have a right to equal treatment, attention and affection.
If he balks or fusses about it, put him in his little space. If you’re the mommy, make him understand that it’s not when he feels like it. It’s when you tell him to be little.
Let me also just state that what he gets from you in terms of roleplay interaction goes for $150-$250 an hour with a 2 hour minimum. I am guessing you do it out of love, but you should know what your services are worth. He should treat you like you are the entire world. Because, frankly there are thousands of men who would. And understanding what your gift of self is worth should make it easier to assert YOUR needs.
Littles can be “all take” if you let them. I’ve been a CG for over 25 years with over a dozen play partners. Do what any real mommy would do and set limits.
Btw, try putting him to bed early and down for naps. And make sure you put the parental lockouts on his video game console, smart phone, computer, and cable tv
My favorite things to do with littles is makevthem understand to be careful what they wish for… they might just get it.
He says he’s not sure when it will happen to give me a heads up. Sometimes ill be in the middle of an adult conversation with him as my boyfriend and the next second he’s doing little things.. which makes it slightly frustrating.
My kinks lie much more heavily in bondage, the response I often get when I confide that my needs aren’t being met is “I can’t control it, once my little side is completely satisfied then I can try to be big”
I’ll have to let him know he is under paying in those cuddles!
Thank you for all of the ideas, I genuinely appreciate the advice.
The problem doesn’t lie with you … let me make that clear from the outset. Our forum seems deluged with young women who find their AB boyfriends are beyond their control. I read your initial post and my immediate thought was “Oh, Christ … another one!”
Seems each week we have a new female member who feels ‘trapped’ in a diaper-centered relationship with a guy she just can’t bear to discipline or, if worse comes to worse, actually leave. So she does things for him that she wouldn’t even consider otherwise. Don’t misunderstand me: It’s great that you love being his mommy. For some reason, however, that’s not enough for your SO.
Most of us have “gotten into diapers” of our own volition; I don’t know of many members here who found they enjoyed diapers when they were responding to a whim of their SO. And, as I’ve said many times, most women - perhaps including you! - have a very pragmatic view of diapers, baby clothes, etc., and that pragmatic conditioning has likely destroyed their ability to ‘respond’ to any of it in a way a guy appreciates. I certainly understand how difficult it is to see him as a two-year-old one minute and your life partner the next, but that’s what he apparently expects of you. If that’s beyond you, take comfort in the fact that it’s beyond the capability or tolerance of most other women too.
The takeaway is this: Supportive is one thing; bending over backwards because your boyfriend won’t set aside time for him to be little and you to be his mommy is another matter entirely. Your SO doesn’t know how fortunate he is. If he can’t be content with setting time aside each week or each month and letting you take care of him, which you obviously enjoy, then you’re better off finding someone who will love you for more ‘normal’ reasons. As long as he knows he can ‘suddenly be little’ and get you to change his pants, he’ll continue to manipulate you in this manner.
Enough is enough.
FWIW, many of us would love to know where we could find someone like you or the dozens of other young women who have posted with similar predicaments.
I agree to the not finding that you like diapers from a partners whim, I have obliged to wearing a wet diaper or pullup myself more then once during sex to appease his request in hopes that he would get what he needs from it as he enjoys being little and “feeling the double squish”
I can confirm that it is still FAR from anything that I consider to be a personal turn on.
i used to ask for that , eventually she got so turn off by diapers, there are none allowed or to even be talked about , i wish i new then, what i know now
He is definitely running this for all that it is worth… which is not fair to you. As DC alluded to, unless he is paying you… there should be two very defined relationships here, an BF/GF and an CG/LITTLE.
I don’t believe for a moment he “does not know” this will come on… he is just taking advantage of what appears to be your very giving and loving nature. Do not let that happen as you are building an expectation that sounds like it is already getting out of control. Re-read DC’s post. If you allow this to continue, you will resent him, pull away and he will get more frustrated and eventually it will lead to the demise of the total relationship.
It is in your hands mommy… don’t let it happen. You can have 2 wonderful relationships but it is a 2 way street.
Oh boy . As lilxfawn said "There needs to be clear boundaries set if it’s going to work " So much so ! Without clearly defining the relationship , boundaries , rules and consequences , it is not going to work well for you. It sounds like a sit down talk is needed. He needs to know before hand this is a serious adult talk. If it is a power exchange you are seeking to nurture and grow , you have to start back at the basics and establish the foundation for it .
You can have a multi functional relationship . Mommy /little (MD/lb) boyfriend /girl friend to name a few We do this and there are crossovers between the two. It works for us because there is always a mutual respect for each others boundaries and respect for each others needs . It takes honest communication and work on both sides to have longevity and balance . As she told me when we first started our relationship , there will be some bumps in the road. She was certainty right. We worked thru them sitting down and talking it out and finding a mutually satisfying balance. Having me journal once a week my honest feelings and whats going on in my head, has help her understand my feelings and opened up productive conversations to work thru issues .
I totally agree that he is very lucky to have a mommy/gf and always hard to find and never know where to start myself will always be a lost baby boy… always treasure the one you love
We had a really good conversation about working on a solution that is beneficial to meeting both of our needs.
He actually saw this post and said he wrote an entire response about how him and his girlfriend have the exact same issues, then before posting re-read my initial post noticed the username and was like WAIT THIS IS MY GIRLFRIEND! So he came over and we talked for a few hours.
Hopefully what we’ve talked about will carry over into our relationship and things will continue to grow
I’ve found everybody says they want a mommy or daddy… but few really get what that means. If you want to punish a little, take away their internet. Works better than spanking. Also ignoring and the silent treatment work.
Example:
Little: babytalk trying to force interaction
Cg: doesn’t respond
Little: tries harder
Cg: if only there was a good little around here, i can’t seem to see or hear littles that disappoint me.
will always be a lost baby boy… always treasure the one you love
