I drive trucks for a living, and have seen many a layby, but what I saw today, abandoned under a bush, in a layby in North Wales made me sad. It made me sad because I know the pain and shame the person who left it there must be feeling. What I found was not only a half empty pack of boots adult nappies, but also scattered hurriedly under the Bush were an assortment of baby nappies, wipes, a couple of bottles and a small Teddy.
I’ve been thinking on this all day and wondering, is the binge purge cycle something we’ve all gone through, are going through, or will go through? Or are there some in our community who’ve managed to avoid this most horrible of feelings?
I myself went through several purges before eventually accepting and loving myself for who I am. And can honestly say now that I wouldn’t ever want to change.
Yes have been through the Purge at times but as I have gotten older it comes but I just stop wearing for a while and then start again. I do not now get rid of anything, just put it to one side and out of sight.
I had a somewhat involuntary purge a couple months ago when I moved from Ohio to Virginia Beach. I had a few diapers and all of my pacis which I miss so badly now along with some coloring books and some baby toys…but I still have some more I brought with me. When I get paid in a week i’m totally ordering more diapers and pacis and I need a onesie
We only had an SUV to move everything so there wasn’t enough room ;(
I have purged all my girl stuff several times over the years although the first few times when I was in my late teens my parents did that for me while I was away working. I thought I had everything hidden away but on a weekend visit home I found that everything was gone. No note and no explanation and no confrontation, just gone. I had been dressing in girls clothes since I was 10 or 11 and even told my mother I was really a girl. She took me to our family doctor (also a family friend) and he pretty much told me to stop the nonsense or my parents would send me away to a hospital and I would not like the treatment there. My father then started telling me to man up and get into manly sports. Anyway the gilt all these years has resulted in many purges for me and a total waste of money when the dressing never stops.
My worst purge was when I was about 26 or 27 and my wife was very mad about the diapers, I burned all my cloth diapers and plastic pants, about 100 of them in the fireplace, thinking I would and could quit. What bothers me the most is a big portion of them were the diapers I wore as a baby, the ones my siblings wore, and a dozen hand crocheted by our good friend’s grandma, little ducks, and bunnies ect. We had our first marriage counselor said to get rid of everything and the desire would disappear, what an idiot! Took me two nights of burning in the fireplace!
I have never had a binge purge hate cycle. Spiralling uncontrollably down a rabbithole is not healthly. Life is so much easier when you just accept certain things. We don’t need all the things we see online. Just be content with who you are, and the one package of diapers you can afford to buy. No one needs a 20 year supply of cotton candy scented diapers. No one needs one in every colour.
Most of the stories we read about someone’s perfect partner, are just stories. When we let lust and greed and obsession win, we lose ourselves, big time. Balance is key.
Oww yeah 100% been through that cycle, when I was a teen living with my parents it happened a lot, actually with those specific Boots nappies. I’m guessing this is someone young too, those nappies are easy to get, don’t have to order and then the shame and panic sets in. It’s sad that people feel like that over something that they have nothing to be ashamed of.
It’s not always guilt… my last purge was because I simply lost all interest in ABDL. Wearing a diaper was as appealing as wearing a winter jacket to the beach in the middle of summer.
I had gone 5 months and I still thought about diapers from time to time, I reluctantly tried one on just to see… I didn’t like it. I cleared out my hidden stash and called it a day!
Oops… 2 months later I was back in diapers.
The first two purges were driven by guilt, embarrassment, fear. It’s not that simple for a “man” to accept that he is wearing diapers with teddy bears printed on them… it’s an acceptance and learning process that takes time for some of us.
Hrmmm you maybe on to something. Maybe the reason I have never experienced this is because I am not male. People almost expect a woman to have cute things. 9 out of 10 people will laugh and think it adorkable if a woman pees her pants. They almost expect a woman to wear pads for dribbling too.
I thought my last purge was my literal last, but it sure as hell wasn’t. I had discovered my childhood trauma after years, heck decades of denial. It kinda made me sad, so I gave up on diapers and retrained myself to stay dry at night. It lasted 2 years, I gave in last week, been diapered almost 24/7 since last week. I’m retired due to brain injury, been going to therapy and finding out the causes of my interests in being a little or diapered. My therapist actually encouraged me to give in to my “self care”. I talk to her again Monday, I hope. I feel guilt over spending money on my credit card to buy diapers just so I can pee or poop in them, I’m back to using bullshit excuses like its safer than a public restroom during a pandemic plague (read up on the dangers of aerosolization of fecal and bodily fluids), and I am finally sleeping like a normal human being, well sorta, I am getting to bed much earlier and getting up, willingly and happy. Mornings and bedtimes are now my favorite again. I get up in the morning, feed my dogs, and watch cartoons while I drink coffee and eat donuts or oatmeal. I finish off with a diaper change and a shower, usually I wear a cloth diaper the rest of the day, I don’t pee or use it, I just like the feel of it. If I go out in public I wear a disposable, and never use the public restrooms. It’s only been a week, I have already had to order diapers as my old stash is finally running out after years of collecting dust, or being used to clean up spills. I am feeling guilty for spending money on diapers again, but the choice in quality diapers is shocking. I live near Vegas so I have visited Changing Times Diaper Store before my last purge, can’t afford some of the premium diapers regularly, but I did buy a case of crinklz from online.
When I first started adult diapers usually came in hospital green. I am so grateful we have come so far. My only real worry is what if the environmentalists demand disposable diapers go away? I feel bad for making a huge amount of waste, but I am addicted, this is a part of my identity, no matter how much I deny it, I am part baby, and will always be part baby.
