Regected by birth mother when born
Just taken away for adoption with no love has this affected any one else
Mother kept my older brother
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whew.
This is a really tough one to wrap my mind and heart around.
Firstly, I’d ask if you know what your mother thought when she surrendered you to adoption? Have you actual proof she did it because she didn’t love you, or because she knew she could not provide for you and your older sib, so she surrendered you to give you a better chance at life?
I know parents who are deliberately cruel to their kids. Most of the time it’s a step-parent, but sometimes the actual mom/dad form a negative relationship with their kids (or a select child) for a variety of reasons. None of them are valid in my opinion, because no child choose to be conceived and born. That is the ‘Adults decision’, and the adults should step up and take responsibility and do their very best to provide for their kid(s). This includes shelter, food, medical care, and yes, love/discipline. Not hatred or dislike.
Ok, that aside?
If a parent surrenders a child for adoption and the child knows the parent did it because of spite/dislike at having a child?
You kinda have two choices in front of you.
One- live your life full of resentment and the pain of being tossed aside, and never excel, never embrace your life and the joys and happiness it can offer.
Two- realize your parent is faulty, not perfect, and they made the mistake(s), not you. Bury that pain in a meaningful way, put it in the ground and say a prayer over it. Look up, look around, and go after your life, because it’s ‘Yours to live.’ Parents are not perfect creatures. Even the best and well intended stumble and make mistakes. The older we get the more we realize, hey, mom/dad ain’t perfect, and they don’t know everything, after all!
There isn’t an easy way to get over this, and I can’t pretend to know what it’s like. My relationship with Papa was as good as I could’ve hoped. Momma? Eeeesssshhhh… Being the only daughter and the youngest at that, saw us always butting heads. I was not, am not, and never will be the little girl who likes wearing dresses and playing with dolls! My three older brothers and my own very stubborn and rebellious spirit saw me pursuing the path of a hardcore tomboy! Momma and I never grew close. I was happy to accept her for herself, but she could never accept me as ‘Me’, and that wasn’t a fair trade so I never played otherwise after many wasted years of trying.
I guess what I’m saying with that is, YOU may indeed have a far better life w/o your mother in it. She may very well have hurt you even more if you’d stayed with her. Yeah, it hurts. Don’t let it fester and cause you more pain.
Wishing you all the best and if it becomes too much to bear, please talk with someone you trust and get their opinions/help/support. Sometimes we’re so deep in our own pain we can’t find a way through it.
Imma share a HUG with you if o.k.?
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The way my mother was such a nasty, shrewish, conniving, cold hearted woman with no soul makes me wish I had been given up for adoption. The verbal, physical, and mental abuse was horrific!!
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Thanks for you replies I’m touched .
Umm when my adopted parents died 12 years ago my adopted sister gave me a folder with keep sakes in it I new anyway I was adopted but what puzzled me was my birth mother kept my older brother who I don’t know.
I must add I have no problems with my adopted parents.
I’ve emailed the crusade of rescue and there looking into my case.
They are aware of me and will be in touch with me .
Omg getting second thoughts now.
See what they come back with .
Hope this makes sense I find writing hard going . Will keep you all updated
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