This part is slightly longer and covers several years of Chris’ life. It also contains a bit of a sex scene. I tried not to get too graphic so as to not violate forum rules. If it’s too much, let me know. The next part will feature Chris and Hannah’s conversation.
Part Five: Experimentation
As the plane took off, Chris sat back against the seat and closed his eyes. He began asking himself the same questions he had for years. Why did he keep thinking about those times he had accidents? Why didn’t he react to pooping his pants with disgust the way a “normal” person would? When the idea of recreating his accidents started percolating in his brain, why didn’t he just ignore it?
The first time he pooped his pants on purpose happened the summer he turned 12. His brother was away at camp for two weeks, and both his parents worked during the day. He had a list of chores to complete around the house, but he also had a ton of free time. He planned to spend some of the time hanging out with friends at their houses (no one was allowed over to his house while he was alone). His parents finally bought him his own phone with the condition that he keep the location app on all the time, and with the understanding that his parents were able to monitor his activity.
The second day he was home alone was a rainy, dreary day. He finished most of his chores by mid-morning and then was just bored out of his mind. He played on his phone for a bit, but his parents had installed an app that limited the amount of time he could spend on it. He finally just grabbed one of his favorite books and started to read. As he read, both his bladder and his stomach began to signal that it was time for the bathroom. As he got up to use the bathroom, the memory of pooping his pants popped into his mind. This was nothing new, but this was the first time he had been home alone. His past thoughts about recreating the accident came to him. He was dressed in a pair of boxer briefs, some athletic shorts and a T-shirt.
He began to seriously consider just going in his pants while simultaneously wondering why in the hell he was even thinking about it. As the need to go grew, he began to rationalize, thinking that if he pooped his pants on purpose this one time, maybe that would satiate his desire and the intrusive thoughts would go away. With that, he decided he was finally going to do it. The only problem was that he didn’t think the underwear he was wearing was the best for pooping.
Chris then remembered that his mom had just bought him some new underwear as he had gone on a growth spurt. When Chris wasn’t with her to shop, she normally defaulted to buying traditional briefs. Chris went to his room to search his underwear drawer where he found the new multi-color six-pack of briefs. The pack contained two pairs of white underwear that immediately stuck out to him. He knew that was what he wanted to wear.
He slipped out of his shorts and underwear and opened the package. Was he really going to do this? If so, how was he going to do it? If he was going to recreate his past accidents, he needed pants or shorts on with his underwear. At the same, time, he wanted to minimize the mess and, quite frankly, wanted to watch as pooped. Ultimately, he put on the white underwear but didn’t put on his shorts. He decided he wanted to watch himself in a mirror and walked to the bathroom. The pressure in his stomach told him he was going to poop soon whether he wanted to or not.
As he walked down the hall to the bathroom, he started to relax his bottom. He felt his poop begin to poke out a little, but it just kind of stopped there. He gave a little push and felt a burst of pee shoot out; the small burst of pee soaked the front of his underwear and ended up on the floor. He hadn’t really considered how much of a mess the pee would make; thankfully his house had wood floors. He clenched and decided to minimize the mess, he would get in the bathtub.
Once in the bathtub with the curtain pulled back, he could easily see himself. He turned slightly so that he could see his butt in the mirror. He was committed now. He relaxed and gave another push which resulted in more pee. While his primary focus was on pooping, he liked how warm his pee felt in his underwear, and as he looked down he loved the way his wet underwear looked. He relaxed and pushed again; at this point his bladder emptied. There was no stopping it even if he wanted to. The helplessness as his pee flowed through his underwear was amazing. As he continued to pee, he finally felt his poop beginning to push out into his underwear. As he watched in the mirror, he saw his poop begin to press against the white fabric. While it was barely noticeable at first, as he continued, he saw the tip begin to push against his underwear and eventually, as he felt the first bit of his movement begin to break off, his underwear sank under the weight of his poop.
He pushed one more time and watched the rest of his movement descend into his underwear. The feeling was amazing. As he finished, he saw the large lump in the back of his underwear and was immediately transported back to the moment he had pooped his pants at his cousin’s house. One more small spurt of pee, and he was done. The poop was heavy enough that it tugged his waistband down a little. He stopped for a moment and thought about what he was doing. He was a 12-year-old boy who had intentionally changed clothes so that he could poop his pants. And he loved every moment of it.
After he came out of his revery, he pulled his underwear down, flushed the poop down the toilet, and cleaned everything (including himself) up. As one of his chores had been to do his laundry, he washed not only the white underwear that was now a mix of yellow and brown, but also the rest of his new underwear. No need to waste laundry detergent on one pair of underwear, after all. Unfortunately for Chris, this experience did not satisfy his curiosity. Over the next two weeks before his brother returned from camp, Chris peed and pooped his pants in a wide variety of scenarios. He put on jeans and recreated his school accident, holding his pee until he couldn’t make it to the bathroom. Only this time, he pooped too. Loading the dishwasher? Also loading his pants. Sitting on the toilet without lowering his underwear? Check. Mowing the yard? He was sweating so much anyway, did it matter that he was slowly peeing his pants as well? For two weeks, he lived out every fantasy he had dreamed of over the past three years. And then his brother came home and it stopped.
After that experience, anytime Chris knew he would have enough time to himself to poop his pants and run a load of laundry, he did. Unfortunately with his busy school and extracurricular schedule, those opportunities were very limited until each summer when his brother left for camp. At no point did he consider trying this trick around his parents or brother. Sometime along the way, he began searching the internet for pants wetting and pooping, and realized he wasn’t completely alone. Still, he felt a little guilty every time he did it. The guilt, however, was not enough to get him to stop. As he continued to experiment and visit websites with images of people peeing themselves, however, he realized a few things. One, he loved seeing other people (especially girls) wet themselves, and two, he was drawn to the idea of wearing a diaper again. He also knew that there was no way he was going to have accidents around his family or start wetting the bed again to get put into diapers. He was in control of this hobby and wasn’t about to depend on someone else to provide him with diapers.
As he got a little older, it became clear that he was academically advanced. At the same time, he started dating and got his driver’s license along with a part time job. Making out with his girlfriend was amazing, but it didn’t stop him from thinking about and acting on his desire to poop himself. He never considered telling his first serious girlfriend in high school about his “hobby,” but he secretly wished she would wet her panties for him.
He had a first love, a break up, a broken heart, and lots of tears, but his desire to mess himself never went away. The summer he turned 17, after he and his girlfriend broke up, he finally acted on his desires to wear diapers again. One day, he drove to a CVS a few towns over and bought a pack of Goodnites. While he was in good shape, he wasn’t very tall or heavy and the goodnites easily fit him.
Chris never forgot the first time he pulled one on. He already needed to pee, and he had been holding his poop all day. After putting it on, he looked at himself in the mirror on the back of the door. This just felt and looked right. It didn’t matter that these weren’t “real” diapers; they were his. Though he was almost an adult who was at the top of his class academically, wearing this diaper made him feel complete. As he stood there, he relaxed and began to pee. As the front of his diaper grew warm, he gave a slight push and began to poop. He stood in profile and watched as the back of the goodnite expanded. The only thing that made the moment less than perfect was that his diaper leaked, requiring a bit of cleanup of a small puddle.
As his brother was now in college, Chris had a bit more time to indulge in his hobby. He went through several packs of goodnites as he began the process of applying to college and finishing his senior year. It was little surprise to anyone when he was accepted to a prestigious liberal arts college and, after a weekend of interviews, received a full academic scholarship. As he prepared his valedictory address while sitting in his room peeing in a goodnite, he thought about the irony that he was really just a little boy who couldn’t keep his pants clean while outperforming the rest of his class.
Nonetheless, college presented a new challenge. College was a time to recreate his identity and leave childish things behind. Chris had experienced love, he had experienced loss, and he had proved that he had the capability to excel as a student. He was determined that as he went to college, he was going to give up his pants pooping ways.
As he prepared to move to his university, Chris decided to leave the last of his goodnites in his closet hiding place, a footlocker he had used for Scout camp on a few occasions. He was going to have a roommate, and this childish hobby had to go. During his first month of classes, his mother had mentioned painting his room and doing some other house projects. He really didn’t think anything of it until he went home for the first time. Though he didn’t have time to indulge, he checked his hiding spot and realized the goodnites were gone. He knew internally this meant his mom and/or dad had found them, but neither of them ever said a word about it – Chris was happy to follow their lead. For Chris, the disappearance of his diapers was a transition from childish things. He missed the thrill of peeing and pooping his pants, but he was an adult now. He needed to leave it behind.
And then, his sophomore year, he met Hannah. She was brilliant, sexy, and he quickly knew he was in love. She was about 5’6” with curly brown hair and a laugh that melted him. She was in good shape; she had been a tennis player in high school and had an easy athleticism and grace about her.
While he and his first love in high school had done quite a bit, they had never managed to have actual intercourse. He’d made out with other girls as well but had never gone all the way. He and Hannah, however, in the freedom of college and wonderful roommates who gave them space, explored freely. They were madly in love and spent every moment that they could together. They shared everything, including some mild kinks. More importantly, both were excellent students who began to plan their future together.
Though Chris occasionally visited sites with images and videos of people wearing and using diapers or peeing and messing their underwear, he hadn’t had an intentional accident since he started college. He really was trying to leave all of that behind. In his mind, it was one thing to watch people indulge; it was another thing to do it.
This all changed his senior year. He moved off campus into a little two-bedroom house with his best friend. That best friend spent most nights at his girlfriend’s apartment, while Hannah spent most nights with Chris. The number of college credits Chris brought with him as a result of dual enrollment classes and AP exams meant that his senior year academic load was rather light; he managed to get all of his classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays that fall. This led to a few things. First, most Mondays, Wednesday and Fridays, he cooked dinner for himself and Hannah. Second, it meant he had a lot of time on his hands during the day and a mostly empty house.
The first time he pooped himself since high school happened in late September on one of the first cool mornings of the semester. He had run to the grocery store that morning after Hannah left for class. His little rental house had a carport with a little sidewalk to the backdoor of the house; it was largely hidden from the street. He took the first load of groceries into the house and returned to grab the last few bags. He had needed to poop for a while, and his bladder had begun to send him signals as well. After closing the car door, he hesitated for a second. Then he stopped holding his pee as he started walking to the door.
Years of practice meant that he could start peeing with very little effort; the intervening years of college didn’t change that. Before he had taken a handful of steps, he felt his pee flowing down his jeans. Chris didn’t really even make a conscious decision to indulge that morning, it just kind of happened. As he reached the door, a slight push was all that was needed to fill the back of his pants. Cleanup wasn’t bad, and he had his own washer and dryer.
Over the next few weeks, Chris suddenly had trouble keeping his pants clean at home. After making a puddle in the kitchen one day, he decided to buy some diapers. This time, he wanted actual diapers, not goodnites. Still nervous about anyone finding out about his little hobby, he drove to a medical supply store a good distance from his university. He had been on enough diaper sites to know that most adult diapers sold in pharmacies weren’t great, but he wasn’t yet willing to order the ABDL diapers he really wanted. His first adult diaper of choice was a small pack of Attends.
When he knew he would be at home alone, he was basically wearing diapers. One day as he was loading the dishwasher in just an Attends and his shirt, he sort of laughed to himself at the absurdity of it all but also acknowledged that he was more relaxed in general. While this could have been due to his lighter class load, the fact that he was no longer suppressing his desires surely played a role. Even Hannah noticed that he seemed to be less stressed.
It was probably in November that he and Hannah were having a conversation about sex – he knew it was before Thanksgiving holiday. As their conversation got more vulnerable and delved into kinks they had thought about, he froze for a second and considered sharing the diaper thing with her. She asked him what was wrong. He blurted out, “I like to watch women pee themselves.” She looked a little shocked, and said she didn’t really understand. He ended up showing her a short video of a woman peeing her panties. Her response wasn’t complete disgust (she kind of laughed at first), but she did say that she didn’t know if this was something she could do. At that, Chris didn’t go the next step and tell her about his interest in diapers.
In December, she managed to shock him. As they were eating dinner, she mentioned she might have an early Christmas present for him later. That evening as they were getting hot and heavy, she lifted her skirt to reveal an adorable pair of white cotton panties with a Christmas tree on the front. He thought this was the present - she knew he liked seeing her in cute underwear. As things continued, he found himself with his pants off and Hannah on top of him in nothing but her underwear. She stopped kissing him for a moment, and lifted herself slightly off him. Chris asked what was wrong as Hannah got a look of concentration on her face. Suddenly, he felt something warm on his crotch and looked down to see the crotch of Hannah’s panties turning yellow. She didn’t pee much, but it was enough to soak the crotch and front of her panties. The sex that night was memorable, to say the least.
As they talked about it later, she said she didn’t hate it, but it wasn’t something she wanted to be a feature of their sex life. She did it a few more times for him that spring, most notably after he got his job offer. He could tell that she was doing it for him; it wasn’t something she loved. And he never felt the moment was right to tell her about his diapers, much less to explain to her that he enjoyed pooping his pants.
Once they moved into their first apartment, Chris knew he wanted actual ABDL diapers. Roughly a month after moving in, Chris placed his first order. He kept the orders small so it would be easier to hide the packages, but big enough to get free shipping. As they both had separate “fun” accounts, hiding his purchases was not terribly difficult. He would wear a diaper most of the days he was working at home. While he tried to figure out how to tell Hannah a few times, he just hadn’t been able to bring himself to do so.
The text from Hannah meant he really didn’t have a choice now. As the plane began its descent, he finally knew what he was going to say.