Basically, earlier this year, I first tried diapers and loved it. I’d wear them for comfort purposes to ease my anxiety and things. Plus they helped me come to the full realization that I’m trans. However, they eventually started to become too sexual for me to the point that I would masturbate every time I wore one. This caused me to feel guilty because I’ve been trying to lay off my masturbation since finding out I’m trans because I used to be addicted to it. Because of this, I ended up purging my diapers and throwing them away at a gas station (don’t worry, there weren’t too many diapers). I also did this because I told my mom I would. However, ever since, I have been missing my diapers. There are times I really want to try diapers again sometimes, but I’m worried I will end up over sexualizing it again and just feel guilty all over again and waste my money. I’m just wondering if it would be smart to try it again to try to comfort myself, or if it would not work as I intend. I always wore children’s diapers like Goodnites and things, so I’m questioning if it was the act of wearing a children’s diaper that caused the problems or if it was the act of wearing a diaper itself. I’m not really sure. I just notice this because lately I have been having problems with feeling too sexual to myself when I wear the really childish clothes that once comforted me.
How did wearing nappies lead you to know you’re trans?! There’s nothing wrong in mastubating when you wear one. Be happy you have a powerful sexual turn-on. Do you ming giving your age? Everything you’ve written is about normal male behaviour from teen-twenties and even beyond.
Basically, diapers led me to realizing I’m trans because I thought about it for many years, but the girls Goodnites made me feel more girly which brought me joy. At first, I thought it meant I was a femboy or something, but the more I think about it, the more I like calling myself a woman and being a woman all the time. I’m 19. I used masturbation for years to stimulate my imagination to imagine myself as a girl. I did the same to imagine myself in diapers before I got them. I have masturbated for about as long as I can remember. Diapers were actually probably the first thing I remember specifically masturbating about when I was really young, like 5 or 6, when I wasn’t even potty trained until I was 4. I have tried to stop masturbating mainly to feel as much like a true girl as possible. I know girls masturbate too, but I can’t exactly masturbate in the same way a woman would, despite me having some non traditional masturbation methods to begin with.
I wish I had more time to talk to you but I’m near going to work. But at you age I was masturbating 5-10 times a day and using Girl and Baby things to further excite me. None of what you have said suggests that you’re transsexual. I can see you’re confused and pretty desperate but there are a lot of people who can share with you here. Does it feel bad to masturbate so much? If so WHY? It’s very normal in someone of your age.
Ok. Yeah. I guess it’s not uncommon. I guess I just started losing my mind and feeling like I needed to not masturbate. I may try to get myself comfortable with masturbation again. I am thinking about trying a diaper that will find a good balance. However, I still believe I’m trans. The reason why is thinking of myself as a man makes me feel very depressed. Thinking of myself as a woman helps me to feel less depressed. I am very anxious about my future, but I feel more optimistic when I think of myself as a woman. That is why I believe I’m trans. The thought of masculinity makes me very uncomfortable also.
I don’t know how long your guilt and “Diaper Bulimia” have been going on…believe me, we all have been there in varying degrees and durations. For me, that cycle lasted 18 years because I thought I was the only person on Earth who loved wearing diapers; things opened up when I found it was definitely not so and the ‘Bulimia’ eased up a lot. I even met several terrific people in diapers (and a few terrible ones), plus going to Diaper Camp a few times to spend a couple weeks in t-shirts, shoes & diapers and playing around helped me accept it more and more over time…and accept myself wearing them, wetting them and enjoying it. And finding the Baby Side helped a lot, too…that’s not for everbody, true, but just getting to a point of accepting yourself no matter what is the point of it all. Just keep talkin’…that’s why we’re here. 
If I was you I’d masturbate as much as you like. It can 't do you any harm - only relieve the stress that men of your age feel when their full potency is realised. What are your thoughts on girls - most of your triggers are girly so I assume you’re pretty normal for your age. You can only really answer the question by seeking counselling on your transgender/transvestite feelings. But transvestites don’t normally become girls their choice of female items suggests they’re straight. Of corse you may be Trans. See if your GP can refer you to a Gender Identity Clinic. You may have to wait but they will be able to throw some light on you and lead you out of such confusion.
I’m M to F transsexual and have been for 55 years and I was very mixed up at your age but a GIC sorted me out. You would really benefit from help they can give though you might have to wait a while,
Good Luck
Kimi
I agree with Kimi, but the M-Word…yuck, too techy. I prefer to call it “tickling” because it feels too good to have such a heavy word associated to it. It’s okay to tickle yourself and enjoy it…it’s certainly more noble than trying to compel someone to join in and far, far better off than seeking release via assault, believe that!
Plus, I prefer it far more over intercourse, especially after my previous marriage to a manipulator and criminal; she devolved to that a couple years after our wedding. Well, I’m divorced now, I don’t want to remarry and don’t want a string of flings or upset former partners…so I tickle away, happily. Life’s far too short to be unhappy. 
:smiling_face_with_3_hearts:
Yeah. I may just have to accept that this is part of who I am and I may require certain things to feel right with my body. It may be kinda like how I need to wear girls clothes to feel comfortable with myself too.
Yeah. I believe I’m trans. I do see a counselor and she seems to believe I may be too. However, she doesn’t specialize in gender sadly. I would love to see someone who specializes in gender. I will try to accept though that I may need to learn to enjoy my sexual experiences rather than trying to hate them.
Thank You BobbiSue.
Good advice.
Ask you GP to refer you to a Gender Identity Clinic and explore yourself more thoroughly but there’s no rush. I waited 10 years before I had GR.
Yeah. I may just have to accept that my sexual experiences are supposed to make me happy, not feel like garbage.
Yeah. I will hopefully try to do that soon. The only problem is I don’t know if there are any in my area.
Where are you? Which Country?
If you are in uk then there is only one major one in London. There’s a 2 year wait. If you are in USA it will probably cost a lot.
Besides I don’t think you ***are ***trans. You don’t come across as TRANS you come across as someone who, for some reason feels very guilty about masturbation. It is the most normal thing in the world. Less analysing and more pleasuring is the best I can offer as advice. You won’t be 19 for ever. ENJOY!
Yeah. I personally do think I am trans because of my experiences of not feeling right as a boy. However, I did just go get some diapers and am going to try to let myself feel comfortable with myself sexually. If I get the urge to masturbate, I will try not to stop it this time.
GOOD
I have no experience in the trans world so can’t offer any help with that issue. What I can suggest from my 75 years of experience is to masturbate away and enjoy it. I started masturbating at about age 10. Except for my time aboard ship in the Navy, there were very few days in my life I didn’t masturbate. From age 25 to age 35 I likely masturbated 3 or 4 times daily. After prostate cancer surgery in 2007, I lost the ability to get an erection and to cum; but, I still masturbate daily. It may now be a bit different than before surgery; but, it’s still pleasurable. It is 100% normal and nothing at all to feel guilty about.
Everybody’s sexuality is unique to themselves. Some people don’t care all that much for sexual activities and others can’t get enough. We are what we are and should learn to enjoy ourselves and our own bodies.
Yeah. I see what you’re saying. I have just been struggling because I’m trying to be sexually pure to feel closer to God at the same time as wanting to accept myself for who I am. What I am realizing is that I am not really being not pure by masturbation and diapers alone. It is only not pure if it is adultery. That is what I am slowly realizing so I can be a good girl and masturbate at the same time when I need to. I just need to keep it in moderation about things that aren’t adultery.