As I’m newly incontinent, I’ve had a hard time with overcoming my fears of “leakage” during sex, my partner has tried to comfort me in saying that if it happens they’ll deal and not make it problem/quickly clean up if they feel it’s nesicary but the idea of little mess dosent bother them, it’s a part of being human… Even with this, I still feel scared, have any of you who are incontinent found ways of lessening the chance of “leakage” both urinary and bowel? Or being able to have penatrive sex (receiving/giving) we are two females and use a strapon I’ve been able to use the strapon wearing one over the protection but obviously it’s impossible to receive while wearing protection and it sucks. I’ve heard of cutting a hole in a n diaper but dosent that defeat the purpose of the diaper. We’ve used a vibrator but it’s not the same. I miss it. Sorry if this is inappropriate and dosent follow the rules.
We hava a waterproof mattress cover on our bed, so if the worst happens then at least the mattress is protected. It really depends on how bad it is at the time - if my bowels aren’t too bad then I can go without a nappy quite comfortably - and I also have Renew Inserts that help a bit at preventing bowel accidents. If it’s moderately bad, then I just go to the loo and take my nappy off after some foreplay and put on back on immediately after we’ve had sex; if it’s really bad then I keep the nappy on and don’t have penetrative sex. Fortunately it’s quite rare that it’s really bad.
I’ve had a couple of accidents whilst having sex, but having been to the loo immediately before they’ve not been too bad.
Mattress covers and pads for the inevitable mess … it is interesting, as both myself and my partner are medically incontinent - I’m urinary incontinent and he is fecal incontinent .
Most of the time, one, or both of us, have an accident while having sex … to make things more interesting, my bladder tends to leak a lot and dribble urine all over the place.
There are waterproof sex sheets that exist specifically for watersports. By getting those you won’t be able to mess up an expensive matress. They feel very smooth actually. They tend to be a little expensive tho. Even if your not doing watersports it can be great for cleanup or protection
For less cost, a bamboo encasement matress cover works wonders when my diaper got leaky. Super easy cleanup at 2am
Hmmm, we use the following: Taking a shower before hand helps with odor and the shower helps trigger the bladder to be empty. Exercise beforehand (yes, you burn calories during too) to reduce potentials, and your bedding is properly protected.
Best of luck
So it sounds like it’s just going to happen… a get used to it kind of thing…
Inserts?
Ok y’all, thanks for your info, it sounds like it’s a get used to it kind of situation, with that said, I know how stupid this is but do y’all know if butt plugs help keep poop/diarrhea in? I guess I could just try it and see but since you’re all seeming to answer questions… also I know it kind of goes against what I said about discomfort around it but since y’all have said it’s kind just going to happen, do any of you have experience turning the mess into a kink instead of a mishap, I think if I can get passed it, in time that might help, I know this will require my partner to agree but from what she’s said about it won’t be a problem I think she’ll be ok with the idea, again this won’t happen soon but may help/turn it into a part of the fun, instead of a annoyance.
Oh also with the idea of eventually trying to tie it into a kink, will this increase the possibility of infection?
I don’t know how well it would work, but if you put on knickers, and put a diaper in that *without *taping it up (or taping it loosely), it would probably be easy to pull down the front or back a little to allow for “access”, while keeping some(?) of the mess inside the diaper if an accident happens.
Would taking an enema beforehand, releasing into the toilet and then using a plug possibly help?
Tried the enama once, it semi worked but already having watery stool it also made it worse in the days to come.
I’m only bladder incontinent and usually have shower before sex and as said in another post shower seems to help void the bladder to a certain extent. Still rely on waterproof mattress cover though because I invariably have leaks every time I do manage to have intercourse or even getting ‘assisted’ by hand. Its a great help when your partner is understanding.
We have some disposable bed pads that We put under us. Sometimes we just open up a nappy and put that under my bum. My mummy generally makes us do it on my side the bed so if I do leak and the bed does get a little damp, she makes me sleep in it. Lol. But apart from that, we just do it on something. If we’ve had a drink together, we have done it on the bare bed but we do have a protector on the mattress so it doesn’t get ruined. Deffo help when your SO is ok with it. 
I go to the toilet and make sure to “empty” myself the best I can before sex. We also put a disposable underpad under us during to protect the bed
intamcy with any partner can be a problem if you are incontinent. It takes the p (3 of them to be precise).
P1, preperation, make sure the bed is prepared with waterproof covers or perhaps a large washable bed pad, have a clean dry nappy ready to put on straight afterwards. Have a shower and depnding what type of IC problems you have try to empty your bladder and/or bowels, if you do manage to go make sure your nappy area is scrupiously clean.
P2, practice and position, practice the preparation part so you cab do it without getting self conscious about it, If yout partner is willing get them to help with the bath or shower as this can be fun and intimate at the same time. positioning on the bed etc. If you are a make then udeally start with laying down anwd your partner on top. It’s difficult for a man to pass urine in this position and as you become more aroused the harder it is to pass urine. Once aroused you can usually choose different positions. However unles your partner rnjoys “golden showers” if you think you are going to pass anything other then sperm then warn your partner and withdraw.
Ladies it’s slightly different for you as your plumbing is shorter than mens but also much more complicated, so choose the position you feel most comfortable in and change is if needed, but the same rule applies if you think your bladder or bowel is going to void move off your partner.
P3. Patience, love and support. No matter how carefully you plan there will be accidents, laughter and tears as well. If you wet whilst making love you are going to fail embarrassed and even a failure. You’re not either of those things and this is where the love you have for each other and the support you can give each other becomes supremely important. If you love and support each other no matter what life throws at you, you will become stronger.
The first time I had an accident whilst being intimate with my wife i sobbed my heart out nd eventually she had to put me in little mode to calm me down. We were still intimate but knew that accidents could and did happen, but we learnt to cope with it and so will you and your partner.
So far I have not knowingly had an accidental during sex although I suspect I have had very minor leeks the last couple of times but not sure. But I have learnt from experience to put a nappy on straight away after. I’m just happy to be able to get it up now after years of importance 
I am a DL and not incontinent, except voluntarily, so this might not be appropriate. Would it be possible for those who are incontinent to incorporate diapers into foreplay and intercourse? Sex involves acceptance, intimacy, and mutual pleasure and for those who are incontinent, acceptance may be more important. But what a gift when it all falls in place. When this happens any leaks, or mess does not matter at all. Not being incontinent, I apologize if I am not making a helpful contribution to this important thread.
Most of us incontinent people don’t like the fact that we have to wear a diaper. Thus, it is not and will (most probably) never be a turn on for us. So it would be hard to incorporate it to the foreplay.
If you and your partner love each other it will not be a problem