Hi! Apologies if this question has been asked before, or if it’s kind of a weird question ;-;, but I’m new to diapers. As a matter of fact, I don’t even wear them— for now I just use maxi pads because I’m in an awkward living situation right now.
With that out of the way, I really like to pee in them, but I feel like I always have to squeeze or force it out. I also struggle to relax and release my bladder unless I’m standing up, which is starting become kind of annoying because it seems so many people don’t have an issue with just laying down, relaxing, and letting it go.
Is this something that just takes time to do? Like I said, I am pretty new to it and I am under a bit of pressure since I live with others (and of course, I don’t want them finding out). I’ve tried thinking of water or watching water, or even putting my hand in warm water, but it’s still so difficult. Even if this is something that takes practice, a little closure/advice would make me feel a little better.
It just takes time, as you surmised. My experience was that it came in stages, rather than all at once. First, peeing while standing got to be really easy. Then, it was easier to pee sitting in the car, and so on. It’s more training your brain that it’s okay to relax. Just don’t physically force it; that can lead to its own set of issues. Just as potty training took time, so will getting your mind to yield a bit of control on this.
That’s exactly how it’s going for me right now, except I do kind of physically force it every time. I think I’m mentally training my brain in between because it’s becoming less and less difficult to like, push it out, but I do still have to push. It used to be WAY harder when I’d just started doing it.
It definitely takes time, but I think it also takes practice. I’ve been wearing for 10 years, and while I have zero problem wetting standing up (my default position), it takes me a little more effort to do it sitting down and it’s extremely challenging for me to do it lying down. Admittedly, the majority of the time I just stand up and wet as opposed to trying to make myself go in a different position, so I haven’t really been conditioning my muscles properly to adapt.
It’s just practice. Start with something you can do (i.e. standing), then try and introduce variations on it. I got the hang of standing/crouching first, then sitting but holding myself out of the chair with my arms, then laying back propped up on my elbows, then laying on my front, etc. It took years, and even now I have trouble in the car and while walking.
As far as practice tips:
don’t force anything
you need to be confident your diaper won’t leak. Any time I get a leak it takes me a while to work back up to wetting in that same position again.
peeing in the shower can be a good way to get used to different positions without making a mess
wetting slowly makes leaks less likely. Stopping and starting the steam multiple times can help get you used to deliberately controlling those muscles
I too am suffering the same issues. I hate having to get up to go and when I slept at night I had to look at my phone every second just to let it out normally without forcing it or being hard.
Currently, I’m training myself to let it out on my own without waking up and looking through my phone. So far, little process- I still get hard when I have to go and force it out at times. But you’re right- I just gotta get accustomed to this routine and hopefully become adjusted.
Sense I’m trying to ware Goodnites 24/7 every night from now on; maybe it’ll get better for me. Here’s hoping.
Honestly, if I try to wet my diaper while erect, the stream pretty much goes wherever it wants, and that’s not always a good thing, lol. Results will vary depending on the size and angle of your anatomy and your brand of diaper.
It took me a while for me to get used to relaxing in a diaper, especially when wet. I now like to relax in a diaper, especially without pants on, considering I am incontinent
I remembered when I slowly gotten back in Goodnites last year or two years ago, I tried wetting while lying on my bed and for the first few minutes I’d wet nicely. But after a while when it gets heavy I started to erect and then it gets harder for me to go more and next thing you know- I wet on the opposite side of where I need to go and I leak!
I’ve gotten better sense then but yes, I completely understand where you’re coming from on that one.
Sometimes I’ll wear a double diaper if I want to make extra sure I don’t leak (great on cold winter nights!) This is also my preferred method of protection for my occasional messings.
Anyway, it just becomes easier with time. It’s not about losing control, it’s about learning to let yourself go.
Oh yeah, and be wary of “backflow.” If your willy is pressed up firm against the diaper, the urine won’t flow out, and… yeah, that can hurt.
I found it helps to simply be desperate with a really full bladder. I have no trouble wetting while standing. In fact, there are certain things I do (triggers) that actually make me want to pee; so, I do. But, I always control the flow as peeing too much too fast is one sure way to leak. Like others have said, it does take a while to retrain your mind that peeing laying down is okay.
Many threads on this ..my response to them is always the same , Practice Practice practice… and then more practice it does get easier. I really never had much of a problem because I have wet my pants on purpose since I was very young, could always wet at will.
Even if this is something that takes practice, a little closure/advice would make me feel a little better.
It’s always frustrating!