For those of you who have or had a non-ABDL partner(s) who you told about your ABDL side, did they eventually participate to some extent?
If so, care to share to what extent (from wearing around them, to sex, to diapering you, to even them wearing, etc.)?
I am DL and have told my wife. I can wear around her as long as she doesn’t see it. And we don’t talk about it.
I told my wife 5 years ago after 11 years of marriage. At first she was accepting with the “it’s weird, but it’s not hurting anybody approach”. She even tried one on to see if she could figure out why I liked them. She didn’t care for them but was okay with me liking them. All was well. But then the next day, she flipped and freaked out. She started sending texts to me while I was at work saying how messed up I am and that I have psychological issues that need to be worked out. She also said I was possessed by Satan himself. She threatened to take the kids and leave. It was a bad few months and I regretted telling her. She finally loosened up her stance a little and said I can wear, but she wants no part of it. I can only do it when she’s not around and she wants to see no evidence of anything. That’s where we have been ever since.
What I can do around my wife is continually evolving. Currently I can do quite a bit and she participates a little. I told her before we were married while we were engaged, but she already knew because I had let her read my journal years before.
I’ve technically answered this question in another thread, but I’ll repeat it here. My girlfriend doesn’t wear or change me, but she’ll let me wear around her. We also have friendly discussions about diapers fairly often.
My first wife hated it with a passion and was basically ashamed to call me her husband. Second wife, with whom I divorcing, actually encourages me to regress. Diapers, though, aren’t sexual for me and I’ve never wanted my better half to wear them; after all, you can’t have two babes running a household. Total anarchy! 
That’s a good place to be. For us it’s keeping the rest of our relationship healthy that’s important. The diaper thing stays healthy if the other foundational stuff is on solid ground. Not rocket science when you think about it.
We all covet a situation where our partner is as diaper enthused as we are but that’s not always possible. My perspective has evolved to feel that if I want her to respect my DL side, I have to respect her limits to participation. A little empathy prevents the destructive emotion of feeling sorry for oneself.
This is basically my situation. Wife found my diapers, we talked. I remain mostly closeted, and she doesn’t participate. We’re happy. But would I indulge more often if I felt I could? Yeah, definitely.
A while back, my wife suggested I start wearing diapers on nights that I need them. Since then, I have told my wife that I also really enjoy wearing and I find them to be incredibly helpful when I am stressed. I explained they are my version of a security blanket. She was extremely understanding but didn’t ask many questions. She advised it makes sense. To this date, nothing else has been really said about the topic. Although, the other night we were laying in bed and she asked me if I could grab her “blankie” not sure if I’m reading into that or not… fingers crossed she may be coming more accepting of the diapers and will force me to pad up when I appear stressed.
I told my wife about my compulsion to use diapers and baby clothes when we were dating. She was reluctant at first but we were in love and she wanted to give me a chance.
As time went on and I got better at understanding myself and communicating she understood where all this was coming from (why I have these compulsions).
At this point in our marriage of 14 years she fully supports my baby side. She changes me, buys me baby clothes, we have Mommy and baby get aways and enjoy a lot if romance and intimacy. I dont feel like I have any needs that are not being met by her. The only thing Im missing is likeminded friends. It appears that making and keeping ab/dl friends is more difficult for me than finding and keeping a mommy.
My wife wore a few times when I asked her to while watching a movie together. She has also worn a pull up a few times when she was really sick and she wore pull ups for a few weeks after our son was born. But she hasn’t worn in quite a while now. I’ve been looking for the right opportunity to ask her to wear again. But with a toddler running around those times are hard to find.
I first told my girlfriend a few months after dating. I only told her that I liked wearing diapers but that it had stopped. I wasn’t accepting this side of me at that time and I wanted it to go away. She was actually understanding. We only brought the subjects a few times.
Now 7 years later, we are still together and engaged. A few months ago I told her that I had “urges” to wear diapers. That I thought the urge would vanish but it didn’t. I also started accepting myself fully and I wanted her to accept me as well. At first she was OK with me wearing when she was not around. And now that I am writing this, she is even OK with me wearing in bed with her, with a childish onesie 
I think she starts seeing it as fun
She doesn’t want to participate at all, and I’ve never asked her. Actually I don’t know how I would feel about it :unsure: All in all, I’ve been very open about how wearing makes me feel and I never pushed anything on her. I think that helped a lot to get her full acceptance.
For my birthday I’ll ask her to buy me some plush toy, I’ll see how it will go ::p:
I’m almost in the exact same position but my partner and I dirty talk about diapers during sex more and more. She hasn’t worn a diaper yet but seems very open to the idea and teases me nicely on almost a daily basis about me wearing them.
Our conversations around it help a lot, she had a lot of questions at first and I decided to be 100% about every aspect of it for me. Previous partners were not as accepting and it varied from ok to extremely difficult.
If by partcipate you mean encouraged you to wear diapers and start messing your diaper instead of using the toilet, than yes.
I can fully relate. I have 2 children and finding time for intamicy is difficult. My wife is not an abdl but is willing to participate. She has worn diapers and even used them and would again. We just have very limited opportunity.
I told my wife a few months before we got married.
I essentially said I need to get this off my chest because it’s not going anywhere. I told her over a year ago now.
It’s been a long process but she has really accepted and even encourages it.
She does not wear herself but she hasn’t ruled it out.
She doesn’t mind me in bed with it on at all and we have had sex with me wearing.
I was so nervous to tell her but it’s really worked out and I couldn’t ask for anything else.
My wife knows I wear; but, doesn’t know why. She believes I suffer some incontinence issues. Last fall we both got sick after a reunion in a resort area where we were in contact with hundreds of people - always a great way to pass around a bug. Anyway, I got sick first and felt like death for about 2 weeks. After I was feeling fine, she came down with it - only worse. She had it for 3 weeks, ultimately went to the doc, was diagnosed with bronchitis, got meds, and got over it. But, during that time she was having to constantly change her Poise panty liners as every time she hacked, coughed, or cleared her throat she would also pee a bit. I suggested she wear one of my diapers which she readily agreed to do. She used a couple of my diapers the next 2 days. As she was putting the 2nd diaper on after taking a shower, she was otherwise naked and I commented that she had to be the sexiest redhead on earth and the diaper made her even sexier. Her response? “Yeah, sure.” A day or 2 later, hoping to get her into diapers I asked how she liked my diapers and would she prefer diapers over panty liners. NO! Oh well, I tried.
Most of the time just lounging around the house I wear my diaper and an oversized golf shirt. That’s what I’m wearing right now. The golf shirt is a tall size and I’m 5’8" tall. When I stand it goes almost to my knees. Thus, if I have a fairly soaked diaper on that sags a lot, it is totally hidden when I stand up.
This isn’t my situation regarding my diapers; but, I anticipate this will be the situation should I work up the nerve to tell my wife I enjoy wearing lace panties. After 36 years of marriage, and at our ages (me 74 and her 62), I’m not sure I should tell her of my recent (within the last 2 months) action to fulfill me long standing desire to wear women’s lace panties. I now have 9 pairs I alternate wearing almost daily. I know she would think me crazy while I know I’m not. Like so many things we like, I know this fetish became a part of me as a preteen when I would sneak wearing some of my mom’s underwear (bras and panties).
Do you wish you would talk about it more?
Glad you made some progress and can at least be honest with her. Do you think things could develop any further at this point between you two, in terms of being more freely padded?
Nice to be open like that. Do you guys discuss you wearing diapers or just diapers in general?