I had an unplanned hysterectomy in March 2019. Since then my bladder has not been functioning on its own. My Dr wants me to use a catheter 4x a day but I can’t get the hang of it. I am 35. My teenage daughter thinks lots funny I have resorted to wearing diapers full time,its the only way I am confident in myself. My insurance has been good and covering the diapers but I am still stressed to go out in public. I like wearing leggings and am afraid people will make fun that I have to wear diapers full time cause I have no bladder function
Well, there’s nothing wrong with choosing diapers to manage your lack of bladder function if that’s what works best for you. Maybe rethink the leggings for going out in public though, and choose some more diaper-friendly outfits! There’s lots of women your age (and younger) walking around with nappies under their clothes due to similar issues, and in most cases you would never be able to tell.
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It sounds like you have two problems going on, urinary retention and incontinence. Self-cathing is typically used to manage chronic urinary retention, where the bladder cannot fully empty on its own. Left untreated, chronic urinary retention can lead to infections and kidney damage.
Incontinence, which is unintentional leaking of urine, is another thing entirely. If you’re having incontinence, diapers are one possible solution, and often end up being the preferred solution. There are surgical treatments and medications that can help, though, and work well with some people.
What does your urologist or urogynacologist say? If she’s recommending self-catheterization for chronic urinary retention, then diapers aren’t going to do everything that needs to be done.
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I think I may see what’s going on: back in older times, many women who had to have hysterectomies ended up becoming incontinent, resorting to pads and/or diapers; turns out that there exists in that area a nerve which was in the way of surgery which many docs cut through for their convenience. That convenience cost a lot of women their quality of life and a great deal of dignity…all for the sake of a doc’s convenience. But before we get too heavy on this, did you have an incontinence issue at all before your surgery?
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if ISC isn’t an option, then nappies are probably your best bet short term option. I can understand your worries about clothing and being “discovered”, but unless you are using very thick nappies it is unlikely any one will notice and if they do and say anything, you explain you have a medical problem that requires you use nappies. You could try some of the pads that go inside your underwear like these :- https://www.incontinencechoice.co.uk/incontinence-pads/large-shaped-pads.html
Or a slimmer version:- https://www.incontinencechoice.co.uk/incontinence-pads/small-shaped-pads.html
or even the belted nappies:- https://www.incontinencechoice.co.uk/incontinence-pads/belted-incontinence-pads.html
You can even get washable pads for use in underwear.
However long term it may well be you will have to consider a urostomy ( https://www.coloplast.co.uk/stoma/people-with-a-stoma/before-stoma-surgery/living-with-a-urostomy/ ).
I guess it’s always a risk when surgery is performed in that area, one slip-up can mean a lifetime in nappies (as can pelvic injury, childbirth complications etc.) And the nerve damage can often be compounded by other issues like pelvic floor weakness or bladder/urethra damage.
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That area and that nerve do indeed get stressed over time and incontinence can set in, in varying degrees…but why a doc would want to just willy-nilly cut through a functional nerve boggles me to no end.
Maybe its function wasn’t fully understood, but surely a pattern must have emerged in terms of women ending up incontinent.
And it would have been a much more restrictive disability a few decades ago. Even a totally incontinent woman in this day and age can wear a fairly discreet adult disposable nappy that won’t be obvious under most clothing, and will be reliable enough for her to not worry a lot about leaking in public. Whereas 50 years ago it would have been adult sized terry/cloth nappies and plastic pants, which are pretty much impossible to disguise and to manage in terms of public changing… such women would have been largely housebound. Eventually they would have had primitive adult disposables, which would still have been bulky, noisy and prone to leaks.
No severe problems before surgery. I didnt notice till after my surgery. I was told this might have something to do with before, cause I only used the bathroom maybe twice a day
I’d get a second opinion then. If there was no prob before whereas there’s one now after the surgery, it deserves a look-over by another specialist. IMHO.
I might have to invest in new clothes. Just need to find a new look. I am so self conscious now. My insurance is covering the diapers but its been trial and error seeing what works best. So far the only kind I have found comfortable enough is the prevail air tabbed style. They are a little bulky but seem to work the best so far
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I had an apt with a urogynocologist and she recommended last month a bladder pacemaker. It worked for 2 weeks and the loss of function returned
Well, another opinion doesn’t hurt.
You can wear skirts or tunic tops over leggings and it looks great no matter how bulky your diaper is. I’d recommend Northshore if you haven’t tried their products yet. They make some of the best diapers on the market.
When I began wetting my bed in college, after 3 straight nights of this I had to resolve the fact that I had to wear diapers and plastic underpants again. Based on my challenges growing up in this matter from age 4 - 12 I had some reference. It helped my dorm mate understood but I also had to face up to telling folks that I had physical relationships with when I stayed over for the night. Most were accepting of this about me and understood with little explanation. Some even admired my bravery at being upfront with them about it. This was always better than waking up in wet sheets at night and did not define me but rather showed my resolve to handle it. I think today people are much more understanding about medical requirements.
Personally I would hate to use a catheter.
I have seen a few people (Same family) wear diapers and leggings while we were at Disney World last time, there was no mistaking the fact they were wearing diapers.
On the more important note you should see a second urologist to get a second option as if you are retaining simply wearing a diaper is not enough to manage your issue. Retaining to much is life threatening as you can cause your bladder to reverse fill your kidneys and that can be fatal if not delpt with thats why your doctor recommended self catheters 4 times a day.
Options the Urologist may recommend if you cant catheter your self
Catheter that can remain in-place and drain into a leg bag and is swapped out every 30 days or so all you have to do drain the bag or hook up a new one to the line.
have a sphincter opp that opens them up so you are allways draining into your diaper (There no going back on this one)
Please see your doctor and urologist to see what your options are as retention is not something you should ignore or treat lightly.
I actually have not had anyone say much about me wearing diapers since I was about 13! - and then (and before) that was kids at school, that didn’t last long once the year started either (after about a month or so, it seemed to be no fun for them any more.). I have since on occasion gotten some strange looks - but not really that big of a deal - and that was not just because they noticed I had a diaper on, there were other factors involved.