i am almost sure that i am not alone in this, and i am sure that many of us feel it wether or not we are incontinent. so i am going to make a quick post about **my personal diaper shame, ask a few questions and give my short opinion. **
my personal diaper shame is very prevalent. currently i dont have a stash, wear regularly or have access to abdl dips. i have a lot of harbored shame about having the urge to wear diapers, despite it being 100% not sexual (for me at least). i am female to male transgender and i think that i havent gotten to explore my age regression much until now because my gender identity took every ounce of energy i had to offer, although now i am almost two years on T and my age regression has genuenly been the healthiest coping mechanism i have ever had. i often have surges of desire to be in a diaper followed by gut wrenching disgust at myself for even having the thought to begin with… its a roller coaster.
as for my questions; how do you cope with your diaper shame (if you have any at all)?, what brings you back to wearing diapers?, and lastly; do you think diaper shame is instilled in us during the “potty training” phase when we learn to be shameful?
my opinion on diaper shame is simple; if you are not hurting yourself or others do what makes you happy. but on that note it is never okay to expose someone to sexual acts or your bodily excrestion without their consent. and incontinece should be spoken of more with how common it is.
My diaper shame from the past was more so rooted in my trauma with bed wetting as a kid, I got very afraid of “going back” to the time I was not potty trained properly (was ‘fixed’ at age 11). I found ABDL when I was about 15-16, so thats when diapers came into my mind. I never really took the dive seriously and explored the diaper aspect untill 17/18 ish.
also I do not mean to offend incon people I understand there are people who rely on diapers, and that is all valid, I was still scared to go back to the days of my trauma as a kid, I already stated it in other threads, but I was very much so bullied heavily by my family for not being “normal” in the potty training dept
but once I admitted to myself I had a desire to be in diapers, and just recently I am considering a “saucy” attraction to diapers before it was purely just an expression of my little side and my “enjoyment” for wetting.
I think since I just started wearing this year I am really just finding out what works for me <3
For me, I used to feel like liking diapers was a bad thing, like there was something wrong with me. I gave it a bit more thought, and realized that it’s no different than any other fetish. Like you said, it’s not hurting anyone else (as long as you don’t bring strangers into this), so there’s really no issue. In the end, diapers are just a different form of underwear, and what we decide to wear for underwear is our business.
I grew up on the Jersey Shore in the sixties and we were all supposed to be tough. Everyone bullied everyone else and I lifted weights so I wouldn’t be bullied. I enjoyed sports as did the friends I hung out with. For those reasons and more, I couldn’t understand why I was drawn to wearing and diapers and using them. I thought I was crazy. Even with feeling guilty, I still would succumb to wanting and wearing diapers.
Over the years of such continued diaper desires the guilt became less and less and then came the internet and I knew I wasn’t all that unusual. I think that helped a lot.
Finding communities like this on the internet definitely helped me as well. Personally, the idea and act of wearing a diaper is just plain comforting. Even though I’m not incontinent in the slightest, knowing that if I were to somehow have an accident it wouldn’t be an issue, just puts me at ease. I don’t remember being in diapers when I was younger, but I know that my brain associates diapers with no stress and being calm, which is probably how I felt all the time when I really was in diapers.
All in all, realizing all of this stuff is what helped me to get rid of any “diaper guilt” that I used to have.
I AM NAM! DIAPER MAN! And proud of it! I do get a bit nervous if there is danger of getting caught and sometimes have nightmares of such but it is not so much about shame as the difficulties of explaining it to closed-minded associates.
i am so freaking happy for you! it can be really hard to overcome trauma and still battle it everyday. i am very proud of you for taking the time to discover yourself and begin to overcome some of that shame. i send you so much support! xx
I definitely felt shame as a kid/teenager. I had a long, traumatic potty training process, and got caught with diapers twice as a seven-year-old, and was shamed harshly. When I was a few years older and discovering my sexual interest in them, I had a hard time coming to grips with being abnormal in this way. But resources like ADISC, and the connections I made there, went a long way in helping me learn to accept myself. And weirdly, I think the harsh reaction my parents had to my diaper use actually helped me come to terms with it, ironically— it forced me to think that if they wouldn’t accept me, I had to learn to accept myself. Now, in my mid-twenties, I keep a pretty big stash in my apartment and couldn’t be happier.
I will contrast my own experience with my fiancée’s. She is also a lifelong DL, but has always had extreme issues with self-loathing and denial about liking diapers. Unlike me, her family never found out (although I’m positive they would have been ok with it), and she never joined a community like ADISC as a teen. I know she had a single pull-up, which she burned, and did her best to block out these desires forever. I was the first person she told. Although she doesn’t mind me wearing, and she will wear them too from time to time, it still saddens me that she has such a hard time with it to this day.
BE PROUD! it is so empowering to see proud AB/DLs and incontinent people. i totally understand that fear, i struggle a lot with not being able to share my ABDL side becuase it is so challenging to explain to someone who doesnt understand
it makes me so happy to hear that you have found comfort in your own skin, over coming the stigma that comes with diaper is a PROCESS that can take a long time. as for your fiancée, i really hope that she can find happiness with this part of herself wether she partakes or not. i wish you both the best of luck <3
I’ll reiterate that I’m thankful for this community! My diaper wearing adventures are only 1 month old now. Mine is due to a childhood trauma for sure. I feel like I’ve retype my story to many times now so I won’t here. The shame is deep but getting better. It helps having close people that understand and accept it. That is all. Thanks everyone for listening!
I am not ashamed of wearing diapers because I need to wear them due to total bladder and bowel incontinence from a ruptured disc in my lower back. This is a legitimate medical issue and the diapers are there simply to contain my accidents.
Wow I don’t know that could happen. I’ve been diagnosed with DDD. I’m trying to keep myself limber and doing exercises. Ya no shame in wearing if there’s simply no option.
there should never be shame over incontinence. at. all. just like any other health condition, chances are you didnt have a choice in the matter, therefor shame should never fall on that person.
My shame has tended to ebb and flow over the years so that there are times it is huge and overwhelming (and has caused purges) and times where I feel fairly at peace with this side of myself. I think I have more shame attached to the AB side of myself than the part of me that wants to wear diapers. I don’t tend to feel shame at owning medical diapers but it is often AB diapers and AB clothing which I start to feel shameful about.
I think my shame comes from anxiety/ paranoia that I will be discovered and that people will think my being ABDL is sexual and then make the jump that because I have adult-sized baby diapers/ clothes etc I must have a sexual attraction to children. Obviously I don’t, being ABDL is not a fetish for me and I’d consider myself asexual so no sexual attraction to anyone/ anything, let alone children, but I just worry so much about people making the wrong link and of being ostracised and targeted and losing my friends and family and my job etc. I feel like 90% of the time if anything about ABDL makes the mainstream news or media it is negative and relating to a sex offender or other criminal, at best the media seems to portray ABDLs as having mental illnesses or being weird/ extreme etc. Of course that because most ‘normal’ ABDLs don’t broadcast this side of them and don’t want to make a documentary or live 24/7 as a baby or whatever but I’m scared people would link what I’m doing to what those people in the media are doing, and that’s not who I am.
In addition when I was about 16 or 17 I stupidly took photos of myself wearing just a diaper and sent them to another ABDL I’d met online (at his request) and I am terrified of those photos somehow coming out and being ‘exposed’ and again, losing my friends and career etc. I feel like owning ABDL items incriminates me and means, were the photos to come out, I couldn’t try and cover myself by saying it was something I was pressured into as a teenager and that I wasn’t into it and only did it because he asked me to, it would be easy for anybody to discover this is a part of me.
I think therefore the shame comes from the fear of discovery and of being misunderstood and wrongly judged rather than an inherent belief that what I’m doing is wrong or shameful. If being ABDL was better understood and I knew that my motivations wouldn’t be misconstrued I think I would feel a lot less shame.
Totally agree with what your saying here! My biggest fear was telling people close to me. Now the fear is how the public stereotypes make it seem like ABDL’s are total pedos! There is a part of me that’s slightly aroused by the diapers but I’ve spent a long time asking myself if that meant I was attracted to child. Specifically children wearing diapers!!! So much so I would get a weird anxiety when around young kids only wearing a diaper. It took a long time for me to be honest with myself. I definitely DON’T have an attraction to small children. It’s just the diapers! This was a great relief in the short term of course. Now that I’m wearing the diapers it’s even more conformation that’s true in my case. But… The stereotype still exists and no amount of shouting at a crowd that wants to condemn you for and ill explained and uninformed topic like ABDL is something that would frighten most people into just never approaching the subject. It did in my case for decades. I’m still learning to be at peace with it as I move forward.
Being incontinent and being forced to wear 24 / 7 has gotten me over my ‘shame’ rather quickly. I use to be very aware of how much I ‘crinkled’ when out in public, and tried hide it - now I really do not care that much ( i’m still not going to wear a super loud diaper out in public ) .
Now-a-days I do not have issues buying diapers in public, or even if someone sees the top of my diaper when I bend or reach for something in a store.
Oh man, growing up and reaching my teens in the mid 70’s before the internet was very tough being a DL because we all thought we were freaks and the only ones with these crazy thoughts. I swear I was actually born a DL because even though I was potty trained at an early age I wanted to be in diapers. I did wet the bed nightly up until I was 13 but my mom just put a rubber sheet on my bed so I woke up totally soaked every morning. There was nothing on the market except for lousy incontinent wear that was specifically marketed for the elderly and even then it was only available in medical supply places. As a teen it was very hard to choose a pair of rubber pants and bring them up to the counter to pay for them. I just had to have them though and I just had to face the fears. I went through the binge and purge cycle throughout most of my life but now at 58 I totally embrace this part of who I am and couldn’t be happier. I have been married twice, both to the wrong women who were not DL’s. One knew I liked diapers and the other I just told her I was turned on by her wearing and wetting. It never got to the point where I told her I liked to wear them until we were split. That was because of her strong personality. I knew she would not accept her man being in diapers. I made a promise to myself that I will never get involved with anyone ever again unless I have the freedom to be myself. It’s just too stressful. Ideally like all of us, I’d prefer to meet one of us but we all know compatibility is not all about the DL part. Will I ever meet the right person? Who knows but if that never happens I’m okay with just being able to be free to be myself.
