diaper lover insecurity

Adult Diapers
1

Hello there, this is hard for me to write

I have throughout my life always liked diapers, when I was a kid, I took a diaper from kindergarten once (after I stopped using diapers) and I hid it under my bed, when I was around third grade I bought diapers from the store and used them, about two years later I and a friend build this hut outside in the woods, and I (and him) bought diapers so we could pee there, then I kinda distanced myself from diapers for about three years, I mean I was scared and thought it was weird, but I knew I liked diapers anyways, I then bought a pack of diapers again and I was so ashamed and scared, I ended up throwing them away, I have a few more of these stories but I’m not gonna get into it all. In eight grade that’s when I first found adisc and found the term ABDL, though I see myself as more of a DL, before this I had only bought baby diapers and diapers at supermarkets, etc, this was the first time I bought medical/adult diapers. I remember how scared and nervous I was, but I did it, and I used them but they weren’t really what I was looking for, they were Attends flex and I didn’t really like them, so I did some more research and I bought Tena slip, I loved them I used them a lot, but I felt so insecure about them, I was still living at my parents (i was in eighth grade so ofc I did) and I was so scared for them finding out, I even overheard them talk about it once and I flipped out, was so scared and in the end I threw all of my supplies away probably like 80$ in total. Now its been a few years and I’m in high school, I still think about diapers a lot, some times I go to adisc and read something, google diapers, etc. and I’m just so insecure, I feel like I’m doing something wrong when I’m looking at diapers, but still I know that I want them, I want to buy diapers, I want to wear them, but I’m afraid someone will find out. Now I also have a girlfriend whom I’ve dated for almost eight months, I love her and I really think she’s the one, and due to the pandemic I kind of moved out (hard to explain but I do but don’t live with my parents anymore) so now I do have the opportunity to buy diapers without worrying they will find my stash at least, and I’m not with my parents a lot so I’m not worried for them finding out. I just don’t know what to do, I know I’m a diaper lover, and I do really want to buy diapers again, but now I’m really scared about ruining my relationship, I do love her, but I don’t know how she’ll react, she’s the kindest and most loving person I know, I have a past of depression and self hard but she doesn’t care, but I don’t know what shell think, I kinda want to tell her but there is that if she does like me then, etc, and I’m very insecure about it so I don’t know if its time to tell her, I just don’t know, and I needed to tell someone about this, I don’t have anyone to talk to about his so it feels good to get this off my chest.

2

  1. Get out of the binge/purge cycle. You’re wasting money.

  2. Don’t go finish high school with regrets

1 Like
3

To me it sounds like you are pretty young, and you are having thoughts and emotions that all of us have had to navigate through out our lives.

I see 2 upsides for you. You have the support of this group, people that you can communicate with that know what you are going through and how you feel. You have also moved out of your parents house which gives you the opportunity to explore this side of your life without having to feel so paranoid.

I know you want to tell your girlfriend but… there is probably going to be allot of “she’s the one moments” in your life. You are really just getting started. I would allow yourself time to explore, and shed the guilt and self loathing. Yes, this is indeed a “unique character” trait, you are one in a million! That’s OK, this is nothing illegal or immoral, you just have a need for different underwear! I cant remember if you said you tend toward AB or just are attracted to diapers. Either way, I would not tell this girl friend at least for a bit. You still have too many things to figure out about yourself, and to get adjusted to living on your own.

Keep seeing her, see where the relationship goes. Discreetly explore your AB/DL side. You might find in time that you get over 1 or both of them. Who knows. In the mean time keep checking in with us and do allot of reading. Trust me, if you have tried it or thought it, it has been hashed out here 100 different ways and you will get many different perspectives.

Just please dont do any thing you will regret or that you can not take back. You are very early in your life… this is a powerful piece of information that in the wrong hands can be destructive.

5 Likes
4

I been through the binge cycle quite few times in my life but I finally accepted its part of me! There’s way more harmful fetishes its ridiculous how much we overthink the guilt for a diaper fetish!

1 Like
5

littlemoosey gave you a lot of good advice. At this point in your life, you do NOT want to tell your gf. When I started my junior year in high school. I started dating a girl. We dated for over 3 years on and off (90% on and 10% off). Most high school couples go thru cycles like that. In retrospect, the best thing I did was end the relationship during one of those 10% “off” times. People of your age group can be both mature and immature within a 10 minute time span. Should you tell her, and should the relationship end, you don’t want her to have one of those immature moments when she tells all her friends her ex boyfriend is so wierd he likes to wear diapers. In short order everyone you know will know. Continue to be discreet in your wearing. If your relationship continues to the point where you are both out of school, working, and thinking of the future and it’s time to seriously consider an adult exclusive relationship, that’s probably when it’s time to let her know.

3 Likes
6

This may come off as harsh but I must be honest, she almost certainly won’t be “into” it. She will probably be disgusted by it. She will likely think less of you for it and may start treating you differently. And there is a huge chance she will tell your friends and family if the break up is bad. I know you don’t think a break up is likely, but trust me, at your age it is very likely. And the very act of telling her may cause a breakup.

Perhaps you could drop hints and see how she responds. For example, watch one of those shitty documentaries about weird fetishes with her and when the ABDL one comes on see if she is completely disgusted. And if she is not, maybe say something about how you kind of understand it, you went through a bit of a desire to wear diapers as a kid.

Or you could ask her if she has any fetishes and step into the whole thing gradually?

I don’t know, I am sure people here have better advice than me, I have never told anyone irl about this and wouldn’t recommend doing so.

1 Like
7

I wouldn’t tell anyone in High School. University/College is a bit different as everyone’s being a bit quirky and individual there anyway as they discover themselves.

That’s the UK experience anyway…

I took the plunge when my partner had attended a university society initiation ceremony where they all had to dress up as babies. Someone had supplied them real adult nappies (that I haven’t seen before or since- they were medical with coloured spots in the waistband).

I asked her if the nappies really worked and she wet it to see. I then admitted that it had turned me on and she was OK with it.

We’re still together, married, and the nappies have never been a problem. She wears from time to time, often at her own instigation, but doesn’t identify as DL.

It’s a case of finding the right person and the right moment.