Bedwetting & Sleepovers

Incontinence
1

I don’t usually go to sleepovers. But my friends are having a sleepover party next Saturday. I tried to decline but they won’t take no for an answer. It’s been over 6 months since we’ve last met, and they want me to go no matter what. I too want to meet them.

But you see, I have bedwetting issues & in the last few weeks I wasn’t quite dry. It happens 3/4 nights a week on average. I fear that I’ll have an accident if I attend the sleepover. My friends don’t know about my issues nor the fact that I wear diapers. I really don’t want more people to find out.

I need advice on what to do. Should I risk it & go and hope for the best? Should I be padded/bring diapers? Or, should I just decline? If so, what to tell them.

2

if you know them well enough and they’re generally accepting/supportive then definitely go with padding, if they’re very conservative as in, everything that doesn’t fit in the “norm” box is considered not worthy of their attention, then decline.

At least that’s how I would do it.

I have had sleepovers where I went and had to tell I wear to bed, I had no issues with them. Though some ceased contact after a few years for unknown reasons, so keep that in the back of your mind.

One thing you should never do is go there unprotected, the risk of an accident is too great, sleeping elsewhere always brings additional anxiety / stress which can increase chances of an accident so I would not risk that, and if you did have an accident, they’d definitely not take it too well you didn’t bring protection I suppose?

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3

I would bring a set of long sweatpants and a sweatshirt as “pajamas” to wear to bed. Before you go to sleep, excuse yourself to the bathroom to change and wear your protection underneath those heavier clothes. If anyone notices or asks, just tell them “your doctor recommended it, and he/she says it’ll stop on its own” which is true most of the time. No one needs to know more than that.

I’m going to assume you and your friends are all teens and will be having fun anyway? You want to feel comfortable and happy, and bedwetting is a common medical condition for that age.

Focus on the fun, not the fear.

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If they are true friends just telling your friends that you need diapers for medical reasons should be a good reason and they shouldn’t ask too many questions beyond some basic questions like how long its been going on etc.

But I understand the fear so I would recommend A.just stay until it gets late. B change in a spare bathroom and bring the quietest diaper you have C wear a pull-up under your clothing and put a pair of normal underwear on top of them.

And of course, he normal tips of not drinking too much before bedtime, going to the bathroom a lot to keep your bladder empty and setting alarm in the middle of the night to use the bathroom(you can just set it to vibrate)

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anybody see the problem they’re probably under 18 and on this site

6

Is 18 the minimum age for this site? I guess I thought it was 13.

Anyway, when I was a teenager, I was embarrassed to wear the wrong color of socks. But sleepovers are such a good time, and I’d hate to miss one, especially with friends who want you around.

…hmm. This is not the same thing, so bear with me, but when I was a teen, I’d get so nervous at new events I would puke. Like, just lost my lunch all over the floor. It was embarrassing (and messy!) I had major anxiety about performances, and traveling to any new areas. It took a long time to wear off. So long I thought it would be with me the rest of my life.

Two things helped. First, actually going to the event, even though I was afraid. Because I really wanted to attend the event! Like, I was in the school band and I had to perform! One day in eighth grade I was so nervous and scared all I could do was sit in my seat with my head in my lap until my anxiety passed. I was crying the whole time. It was awful! But it was what I had to do.

Second thing that helped was physical preparation. I never ate before parades. Never ate before performances. I even went to band camp, and the last day was nothing but performances! I didn’t eat the whole day! My stomach was just too upset, so I kept it empty. That way all I could do was dry heave on the grass. I carried tissues inside my uniform pockets. Carried wet-wipes. And it took time, and practice, but it was what I had to do because performing made me so anxious and sick, but I really wanted to play. So it sucked, and I always wondered why no one else got as nervous as me, but I was who I was. And it got better.

If your heart wants to go, you gotta go. Just be prepared, be discrete, it’s a medical condition, and people need to realize that. In fact, by bringing padding to someone else’s house, you’re preparing for it and being even more mature. And somewhere between pizza slice three and four, and the twentieth time of spiking someone off the stage in Super Smash Brothers Ultimate, you’ll probably forget why you were nervous in the first place and everything will be just fine.

7

She is in her 20s pal ^^What made you think she is under 18? xD

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You can try to do what you can to prevent an accident by avoiding too much drinks before going to bed and go with some of your lighter pullups just in case. They might not notice and if they do you can just come out and they will hopfully (probably) accept it if it comes to that. The worst scenario would be if you dont wear and have a accident. Dont let this ruin your chance to have fun with your friends ^^ In the end you know your friend better then any of us.

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9

I’m well over 18 & I have been in adisc for almost 6 years now.

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10

This is a good suggestion. Thanks

11

The confusion may be because ADISC tries to keep the language and posts at a PG-13 level but your actual age needs to be 18+.

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Look I’m sorry if I offended anybody

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13

If you’re afraid of them being chatty about your nighttime issue, then just tell to the more trustworthy of the group and ask her help to avoid that the others may notice. If you decide to go, you should in any case wear enough protection to keep you safe in 99,9% of the cases (100% is impossible).

14

Me myself wetted bed until 13. Never been to a sleeping over until then unfortunately

15

Nocturnal incontinence can happen at any age as can daytime issues, theres no shame in needing to wear a diaper at night. Find a plain white diaper you can trust and then go to the sleep over. If some one notices explain its a medical issue and leave it at that, any one I have told so far has understood.

Close friends should understand and support you if they donot its time for new friends, unfortunately Incontinence issues can be with you for life so at some point in time people will find out anyways even if it only happens at night.

Its been almost 6 years for me and I have long gotten past the worry if someone one finds out but I decided years ago to explain my medical issue with my family and close friends years ago so now theres no need for me to worry about it.

Hope you have a good time with your friends

16

One of my fav Arthur episodes deals with bedwetting and sleepovers: “Jenna’s Bedtime Blues”, where Jenna, who copes with it, is invited to a sleepover with the girls, initially panics, reluctantly goes…and not only discovers something about herself but her friends. It’s a good episode, worth a look by anyone of any age. Good luck! :partying_face:

17

I’ve been on a few sleepovers where I had to wear my Goodnites. Best thing is to change as late as possible and also to wear baggier clothes and a pair of briefs over them to limit the noise the diaper makes. Also, honesty has worked too with some of my friends. I was straight up with them and told them that I have a problem at night I don’t have control over and said would you rather me pee all over the mattress or into a diaper? It got a chuckle out of everyone and we moved on. Up to you of course how you handle it :thumbsup:

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18

Hi Poko

I have been incontinent since i was 14. I have dealt with this. Of course one of my friends knew that I lost my continence and never asked questions.

I had a sleepover once with I was 15. I was seriously nervous about this. I knew that I wear a full taped diaper for bed but knew that there was no way I could get away with it. My mom bought me kids pull ups size 6 and i went for it. That night I did wet horribly but the pull up took care of it till maybe 4 am. I woke up because of the wetness which was not horrible so i was able to change and still put my sweats back on. I have never done a sleepover since.

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19

The FIRST sleepover I was age 11 and it was at my best friend’s home then that weekend. I was scared to death but thank god it was not planned it just happened on a Sat morning we had got to my fighting class and he had joined me then we walked to meet his mother at the shopping center

we were talking to his mother when my parents walked up and she asked if I c and my parents see the discomfort in both us boys just told his mother well they did not know if she could handle me. as I was more of a baby. then a child my father said he would be 5.00 I was wet then and my mother checked me and said yes I was soaking wet again.

as his mother looked at them and said it was ok she would like to try. So I spend the day with them and did have a sleepover i new my best friend was scares but his rection and I tried to get out of it

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I was an incontinent. To be honest if you always have the need for diapers for your whole life, its so easy to sneak and not get noticed. If you really don’t want your friend to find out, I would really say you need to prepare. When you arrive look for bathroom, and then make a plan to change without being noticed. Here’s some things that you need to plan.

  1. How are you going to bring your supplies discreetly?

  2. How many people are there? How often they went to the bathroom?

  3. When is the most appropriate time to change? consider the time when your friends are occupied/busy and/or asleep.

  4. How are you going to dispose the used diaper discreetly?

If you can’t see yourself bringing in the supply all of them at once, consider bringing in 1 by 1 and hiding them inside the bathroom.

If you think its not possible to plan a way to change discreetly, consider telling 1 of your friend. The one that you really can trust the most. So then that person could help you executing your plan to change discreetly. Just make sure to not get too occupied on planning it instead try to enjoy the sleepover. Try not to cancel it, especially if you also want it too.