I’m at the point in my life wear my entire life I have craved to wear diapers. I have the burning uncontrollable desire to wear them all the time but I can’t because of my wife. At what point does it stop being a sexual fetish and lead to something else that is more greater. I’m so confused with myself and feel like I’m in it for the long run with no way out. I’ve tried and tried to give it up for the wife but I can’t. Do any of y’all go past just a fetish and feel as if they bring you comfort and security as they do for me? Do you have a uncontrollable desire to wear almost an addiction to wear? Let me hear your thoughts thanks.
I am two and a half years into my “ABDL journey”. I am a lifelong diaper lover but only discovered ABDL a few years ago, up until then I was dormant.
I’ve tried various things and discovered what I do and what I do not like doing. I will admit that I am turned on by a woman wearing a diaper and wetting it; and I have experimented where I used a vibrator with my diaper on.
But at the end of the day, after I did naughty stuff, I didn’t like the way I felt. I am at a point now where I wear my diapers for security, comfort, and convenience. For me diapers with a dash of AB is a lifestyle and a way I feel good about myself. Doing naughty stuff TOTALLY eliminats that innocence and sense of comfort and security.
I keep naughty time separate.
I shower, put on my diaper, get dressed, go about my day, and change my diaper when it’s needed. If my diaper is saggy I giggle and regress in the moment, even if its for a few seconds as I’m walking.
But that’s me.
There are MANNNY people here who are diaper lovers mainly for the fetish/sexual side of it.
If my wife were accepting of my DL side and participated I don’t know what my kinky time would be like with her.
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Diaper love is undoubtedly an imprinted characteristic, which means it will most likely be permanent. It also means the emotions it creates, like sexual or regressive desires, or feelings of comfort and security, will be strong and feel like natural parts of your being. The negative emotions associated with diaper love are due to social pressure, and being a social creature yourself, you feel those negative emotions too. Imprinting is a result of our evolution, and is responsible for most of the emotions we have that seem perfectly natural to our human society. But the operating mechanism behind evolution is not just based on survival of the fittest but also on flexibility. We can thank mother nature for selecting us to be candidates for her flexibility experiment.
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I used to feel that way, but as I was able to accept myself and also figure out how to wear more regularly, a lot of that calmed down.
As far as having a non-accepting spouse, the two of you should really seek the help of a professional. Any therapist who’s not a total crackpot will follow the dsm when it comes to fetishes; mainly that they’re fine as long as they don’t interfere with your ability to live out your day to day life. If your wife accepts you as a person, that means accepting all of you. She doesn’t have to change you or wear diapers herself, but the bare minimum includes accepting that you’ve got a kink and giving you some space to engage in it on occasion.
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Sorry that you are struggling with this. Pretty sure we’ve all been there.
I can say that, for me, I tried really hard to eliminate the fetish since I was 16 or 17, all the way until last year. I found that
the more I tried to squash it, the more it was on my mind. I also discovered that it was really bad for my mental health. At one
point, I got so depressed I basically shut down to everybody around me, and just drank myself silly on a nightly basis.
I’ve sort of accepted that this thing isn’t leaving. I agree with irnub. You obviously love your wife, and she loves you, so you should talk through it with a therapist. Your wife has to understand that you can’t stop liking diapers anymore than you can change your sexuality.
Many people in the fetish world, struggle to find the right balance between healthy comforting kink, and all consuming, out of control, obsession. Everyone has limits, even the most open-minded individual. Your wife has expressed her limits, as so many partners do. The problem is, we are born with factory settings hard-wired in, and your wires, just so happen to be set to, liking diapers. The difficult part, is you are hitched to a wagon that with a different factory setting. Many on this forum are, actually, so you’re not alone.
So here’s the deal, unless you are prepared to sing that CeeLo Green song and walk out the door over diapers, there needs to be some discussion with your spouse. Will it be awkward, absolutely. However, it is very much needed so that you can find a balance, that works for you and your marriage. Maybe wear when she is not around. Reassure her that you consent is important to you, and will not involve family friends, or business colleagues, in your kink. Maybe, she can take the kids and go to a friend’s house one day a month, so that you can have a diaper day. Some husbands go on fishing trips. Some wives leave one day a week so their partner can have a poker night. Everyone has something that the other doesn’t like, or take part in, they communicate, to figure out how to make it work for them. Diaper kink is no different. Discuss with your partner honest and frankly and find a middle ground each of you can be happy with.
That’s what being in a relationship is all about.
Good Luck.
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I have a deep satisfaction to wear for comfort and security at night like I recall when I was a young boy. I only have significant wettings about 3-4 times per year but still wear nightly. No sexual kink with my wife on this, just an understanding of my security I feel.
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It’s a kink for me, but it used to be that if I “took care of things”…the feeling of needing diapers would go away. When I was struck down with depression and panic attacks, they became a mental crutch, and wearing them often didn’t bring any sort of sexual pleasure.
It’s similar to those times when you first have access to diapers. You’re really nervous, you’re erect(for guys) and it’s hard to even good night sleep while wearing because your brain is dumping all sorts of feel good chemicals into your brain.
Diapers have become part of a coping mechanism for me.
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It has always been both a fetish and something comforting to wear for me. Being Asexual, I have no desires to get rid of the sexual side, it is my only outlet. But it kind of makes the line of appropriateness blurred when it is both. Is it okay to wear (discreetly) around people? Would that like be like someone with a leather fetish wearing a leather dungeon suite around, or is it more like if they take comfort in wearing a leather jacket?
Haha, yeah… Maybe more the latter, but the comparison still falls short. A leather fetishist can hide the object of his affection in plain sight whereas the poor diaper fetishist has to hope that his wallet bulge is enough of a diversion. 
I think that blunts the buzz quite a bit more.
Might make for an interesting social philosophy debate in Immature Topics, but I’m of the opinion that if you can fly this fetish under the muggles’ radar, be happy and don’t beat yourself up over it. You’re playing the hand you were dealt, and everything’s conveniently confined to your pants.
Only if I *don’t *wear. It’s a bit counterintuitive, but this monster shrinks A LOT when you feed it, even if only infrequently. I don’t love the idea of hiding things from one’s spouse, though I did it for years myself… You might have to get creative. As an adult, you can probably find the odd scraps of alone-time necessary to let the pressure out. Having abstained for so long, you might feel like it would take a lifestyle change to quench the thirst at this point, but if so then I’d bet you’re wrong.
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it’s more than creating a safe space…it’s having my mind at ease without having to take medication
For me they were never a fetish. I have to wear them more often than not since I am prone to going in my pants not due to incontinence, but lack of proper potty training.