Hello everyone, i’m posting to ask specifically for general advice on the issue of IC *risk. *the short version being that i recently came to discover my interest in diapers and littlehood beyond a pure mindspace, and i have almost zero long term experience on the consequences of regular diaper wearing and such. since i’m considering including diapers into my own regular interests, i started to read around and found this place. considering what i’m reading, i’d like to ask with in a pretty straight forward way about some things.
premises:
-up until now, i never used diapers. since some months, after realizing i was interested in the idea, i wore some exclusively for playtime and never actually weared them outside playtime. we’re talking, all in all, no more than 15 consumable diapers in months, so very occasional.
-since i had no interest back then going beyond that before working out the issue of being comfortable, i did just that. i explored my little side outside the diaper thing and in fact, honestly, it’s been very beneficial to my overall happiness.
-i’ve learned how to be comfortable wetting in various positions, that being, i only spent my time trying to get over the usual beginner’s fears/anxiety/shame, although i’m extremely comfortable with my sexuality and openness. it’s just that i never realized this was also a thing for me and considering the stigma and implication, it spooked me a bit, but i didn’t really fret over it.
in the past couple days, since i’m on break from work and bored, i decided to get some more diapers and have some fun, after two months of not using them. i’ve worn them for only two days and not at night, and by simply trying to feel comfortable and okay with actually making use of them, literally as an item of clothing that has a very practical function (no play) i ended up being able to wet them without any effort whatsoever, meaning that i can just do whatever, and my bladder will release because i let myself stay relaxed. **which is the topic i’m worried about, as in, what do about it. **
some more extras. first, i have full control over myself. i did not end up being comfortable with walking around and perceiving i’m wetting the diaper but not reacting to it. it’s simply that i have excellent awareness and used it to not get anxious towards the act of carefree wetting. in fact, on command, at any moment, i can individually use both sphincters without any pain, difficulty, whatever. after all, it’s been only a day plus an afternoon and no night wearing.
second, this exclusively happens with a diaper. in other words, the moment the diaper comes off and underwear goes on, i *immediately *lose any “reflex” to keep myself relaxed and flowing. in fact, this even happens only and exclusively if i’m in comfort and privacy. the instant i perceive or decide playtime is over, it is over.
so yes, i’d say that i’m far from being IC or trying to, in fact, it’s exactly the opposite. my original idea, like i also found written elsewhere in this section, was simply to be able, if i wished so, to, say, go a weekend with diapers all day and enjoy the experience, maybe with other little play attached, but then, at will, no fuss, no issues, go back to regular undies and automatic continence come monday. it’s what i heard mentioned as “training the body to recognize the diaper as a second potty” somewhere here on the site, but after multiple attempts i could not find that thread, so i’m writing mine.
however, and this is basically why i’m writing this enormous post, the ease with which i was able to basically decondition myself to diaper use is of concern to me. mind you i am extremely adept at forming and losing habits and preconceptions. i did it fast simply because i’m self confident and i know my body very well. i never had an incontinence problem in my whole life, never had a UTI, never had issues switching to toilets as a kid, i recently did a full checkup, et cetera. i’m simply spooked by the fact that it was a bit too easy to pick it up and i’d like to know your opinion about keeping the habit or losing it like, right now.
basically, nothing happened. yet. however, i want it to stay that way. the information i find on the internet on practical experience from other people is scarce, usually mixed with fantasy, or uses terminology or refers to things i have little concept of since i was just tinkering as a weekend fun thing. and by reading around ADISC, i definitely heeded the advice i find around to not mess with bladder control (i didn’t do anything in regard with messing). so, well… should i forget about diapers altogether, just to stay on the safe side? the idea doesn’t bother me, although obviously, i would keep doing it if i knew there was no issue with it.
PS: a small clarification: i am always aware i’m relaxing myself to release. it is simply that after a good while of doing it consciously, it just takes very, very little effort to just let go when i become aware i need to relieve myself even if just a little. but if i am truly somewhere else with my mind, the automatism is still the one of continence, at all times.