So a couple of weeks ago my boyfriend asked me if I had ever heard of ABDL. I had not so we spent most of the night talking about it. He wanted me to know that it was a part of him before we got much more serious into our relationship. At first I didn’t know what to think however one thing I was sure of it didn’t bother me when he told me he liked to wear diapers and pretend to be a baby. We have talked a lot about it I went online and have done a lot of research. That is how I found this site. So I am trying to learn how to be a “mommy” for him. Some of the things I have tried is putting on his diaper and dressing him. I have also rocked him in my lap. So I am looking for any advice you are willing to share. What are things you would like your “mommy” to do for you. Since I am an over the road truck driver I was hoping to surprise him the next time we have home time together and show him I support him and I am willing to do this with him. Thank you in advance for your help.
Many of us read diaper stories. If he does also ask him to send you links to some of his favorites. Then you can discuss what he likes about them.
Besides that just communicate, try new things then ask for feedback. Pick things that are if interest to you and try em out. I love walking through baby and you isles and getting ideas for things to do.
Best if luck, please remember to take care of yourself also. A relationship needs to go both ways.
I agree that relationships go both ways. We have been talking a lot about things and he knows what my boundaries are plus we have talked a lot about the things I am into and he has agreed to give my interest the same chance i am giving to his.
That is a great start! This will change over time as you both from together. Best luck on a fun adventure together.
Hello and Welcome : )
You have already hit the trifecta so far.
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Learning. A willingness to learn more about this particular, or any other, of a partners kinks/ behaviors is a big step.
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Acceptance. This is a big one! Something not every partner can or will in some cases ever do.
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Participation. Willingly participating in the activity with your partner. The Diapering, Dressing, general Mothering.
Some people can do numbers 1 or even 2 but refuse to do #3 taking a hands off or a Don’t ask, Don’t tell approach to it.
I can not over state the fact enough that participation in these activities is HUGE, something that will put most anyone over the moon with joy.
Here are a few things you, and him, can do going forward.
Continue the communication, obviously this is important in any relationship but more so when kinks and personal limits are concerned.
Setting up rules and limits, or separating the reality of how this will fit into your everyday lives from the fantasy.
Figuring out who they are and what they want. Or at least trying to. This is where the waters can get a little murky.
Sometimes you will find that people can not fully answer every question you ask because they themselves might not know, yet.
In your research and travels into this subject you will come across certain terms, or subcategories (which I will try to explain below).
Some terms are used in the AB/DL and the greater BDSM communities and have different meanings in each, such as little, middle, big and sissy.
Is he an Adult baby, or a “little, middle or big”? Each one pertains to a certain, but not rigid, age range they might identify with going from, well a baby, lol, to toddler, older child to tween-teenager. All of which can/could include the wearing of diapers or even still liking/wanting to use babyish items such as pacifiers, bottles/sippy cups and related clothes (bodysuits/onesies, footed sleepers and the like).
Is he a “Sissy”? Guys seems to have a Love/Hate relationship with this word. Go Figure? lol.
In the AB/DL context a sissy is someone who likes to wear female, or more so, overly feminine clothes while regressed.
They may (or may not) also like to identify as or be treated as a little girl.
There is a whole slew of wants/reasons for this one, too many to go into, lol, but is a thing to just be aware of.
Finally, a lot of times when one “comes out” and finds acceptance from their SO they can go into overdrive with all of this.
Their happiness, and relief of revealing this may manifest as an over indulgence of these activities.
The best approach just might be to tell them to pump the brakes a bit, lol.
Remind them that while they may have been dealing with this for years, sometimes decades, you have not.
This is still new to you and you might need some time to come up to speed and grasp all of this.
You are their for them, you accept this part of them, neither are going anywhere any time soon and it will all come in time.
Nicely put people above yall are so right! giving all the good advice <3 I love adisc for this reason
Now for my take, me and you chatted a bit anyway in your intro 
you seem really accepting and that something you should applaud yourself for.
But as the people said above, communication is key, we ABs are all different; for some its kink, for some its sexual, for some it is just regressing.
and if in those categories a lot of variation occurs, some of us want a caregiver others dont. Obvs your partner does, just giving you insight into the whole thing
Now to not repeat what the others said above I will give a general list of things I like my caregiver to do, in no way does it mean your partner will though, but its a good communication starter (as well as diaper stories as another person said) and this way you can ask them “hey would you be willing to let me do this for you, is this what you like?” never impose yourself upon them, and they should never impose something upon you 
Through TIME you guys if this turns out to be something that benefits BOTH of you will be able to get in a routine, but only through consideration/communication ** and time** <3
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I love it when my caregiver tells me I am too little for something “like oh baby you are too little to put on a dip for yourself” I think it is so cute and very motherly/fatherly
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Bathtime, this could be a good time to see how far your partner wants a mother role in this dynamic, some ABs dont want a caregiver to do everything a regular parent would, like the person above mentioned some of us are older/act it. I personally love playing with toys with my caregiver in the bath but still averse to them bathing me fully.
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Being surprised with little treats, like candy or a cheap lil stuff animal (figure out there favorite animal <3)
there! some things to try IF yall properly communicated and figure out what works for BOTH of you
Hope this was helpful <3
Your boyfriend is so lucky to have you. Thank you so m much for understanding.
Not sure if it is within your boundaries or interest, but I would say nursing is a big one or bottle feeding, and bath time. Also unannounced diaper checks are super regressing too. They are very lucky!
Define some rules for when he is little, designed to make him dependent on you (for instance, no dressing or undressing by himself, he has to ask your help; or, certain areas or activities are forbidden to littles because they are “dangerous”, or simply must hold hands when out of home), but also to give him targets that then can allow you to implement a prize/punishment system. Show you’re proud of silly accomplishments and, if he likes this part of the game, give him occasions to break your rules and then “punish” him like you would do with a naughty little boy (time out or getting to eat real baby food - that in my opinion tastes awful since it lacks of salt).
Keep a good balance between sugar and spicy.
Think about your share of fun. I understand that now the simple fact of getting him happy also makes you happy, however this doesn’t work in the long run. You need to find aspects of this you would gladly play even with someone else. Try to explore and eventually develop your own infantilistic fantasies, so to add your own fuel to the game.
I think I personally would like a mommy that would breastfeed me
Maybe diaper checks and changes (depending on the person some may want this to be discreet or in private others want the whole baby experience which means diaper checks and changing may be in public)
Walks with him in a stroller
Maybe feedings in a high chair
Maybe car ride with him in a child seat
That might be too much.
If you have had dealings with real babies or very young infants, then do the same sort of thing with him. nappy changes, bottle feeds,nap times, story times, bathing with floating toys, cuddles etc, the list is endless.
Best thing to do is sit down with him (adult to adult) and see what he wants, it may be that there are some things you are not willing to do such as changing a messy nappy or nursing (as in breast suckling even there is no milk present). Take things slowly find out what you both like as you need to get something out of the relationship as well.
Thank you all for the wonderful advice. My boyfriend and I have been talking about this a lot. I haven’t really been around a lot of babies to know what all goes into caring for one. Because of your advice I was able to start asking him questions that is able to help me know what direction he want to go. I have learned now that he is a “sissy” which is cool with me. He like to be the age between 1-2 years old. Then because of this it has also helped me find I am enjoying the role of care taker a lot. In my life I am usually taking care of all my friends so this has just seemed liked a natural first for me. Thank you all again for your kind words and encouragement.
Congratulations! That is such exciting news. I know for me personally regressing back as a sissy can be more fun because it’s more submissive and it’s a bit of an unknown behavior acting girly if that makes sense. Plus I think all the girl print onesies, lace, and ruffles are really cute and bring out the little in me. As I learn to accept the AB inside me I am learning more to accept the sissy side as well.
Great, but remember if he really regresses trhen as a 1 year old he is totally dependent on you for everything, he doesn’t get a say about how you dress him, feed him, nap times, bed times etc. As a 2 year old (the age I identify as, usually) he will be more independent, will use short sentences of 2 or 3 words such as “want teddy”, will also be more willful, this is the age that babies and toddlers start to stretch their boundaries and push yours, they are not called the terrible 2’s for nothing. But as the mummy or caretaker it is still you that is in charge, you can show him/her toys and let him select which one he wants same with clothes, but you still control nap time, bed time, bath times, what he eats etc.
As far as feeding goes a 1 year old will be still on mummies milk or formula as a top up to soft, pureed foods (not all adults like formula so get a small (250ml) carton of something like aptimilk follow on formula and try him with that. I love formula).
A 2 year old will be mainly on solid foods, but give him things he can eat using just his hands (making sure he has a bib on!), but at nap or bedtimes may still want a bottle feed. If you are spoon feeding him then Spaghetti bolognase can be fun but very messy. When you spoon feed him feed him slightly faster than he can chew and/or swallow, this means he will spill food from his mouth so lots of fun to be had telling him what a messy baby he is, and wiping his face with his bib etc. just remember whether he is a little boy or a sissy boy he craves love, comfort and security above all. It’s psychologically important that you accept him as a baby, not as an adult pretending to be a baby. He is also trusting you with a very, VERY private part of himself and it makes him vulnerable. If you go outside he obviously can’t go out in baby clothes, but he can still wear a nappy and you can do things like make him hold hands crossing roads, go into macdonalds and order yourself your favourite but get him a happy meal or similar it all helps to reinforce that you are in charge. I don’t know w aht is sissy name will be, but let’s say he’s a man called Timothy, while you are out and about you can infantilise his name so you call him timmy or little timmy, again it’s just a reminder to him that he is the little one and that you are in charge.
Good luck with your life together, there will be problems and temper tantrums, but by being open and honest with each other you will work everything out. My relationship with my fiancee/mummy is fantastic.
One last thing. When I’m in little space I am totally non sexual, although when in adult mode I react appropriately to my fiancee.
Not all littles are non sexual, so when you have the adult to adult talk it might be an idea to bring the subject up.
That’s a really REALLY important note! The more you accept him as a baby the more he will regress and fall into littleheadspace. I can imagine constant verbal reminders about being a baby would help trigger his mind to fall into that mindset and allow him to relax when regressing.
For me..it’s almost like I need permission to be the baby - so if my mommy is super accepting and encourages baby behavior it will be easier for me to regress back. Phrases like “what a cute baby” or “you’re just my wittle baby” would help reinforce the regression behavior.
I love the idea about the messy spaghetti and the bottle feeding. Another good behavior to enforce would be tummytime on the floor, making him repeat or sound out words out loud, and finally breastfeeding for me is the cherry on top.
I am in the same boat as you are Starbox1983. My BF is a ABDL. What he wants confuses me some days.
Could we have a more detailed intro’ from you please?
Hello
Confuses you how?
You do not know how to do the things he said he likes or wants?
He is being unclear in what he actually wants from you, participation wise?
You should post a thread in the introduction section and tell us a lil bit more about him & yourself.
I just posted a new thread in introductions.