Describing and referring to myself as incontinent has been harder than descibing myself as a DL. Whether DL or incontinent, wearing diapers is something I do. So why should the label matter so much? Sounds crazy, right?
After processing this with myself, it occurred to me that this was about control. Identifying as a DL made me feel I was in control of turning on or turning off wearing diapers. Labeling myself as incontinent meant I wasn’t in control, and that I did not like.
Absolutely! I willingly retrained myself to wet the bed at night. At first I thought I would love it. I mean, This is what I’ve been trying to do, right? And,at first I started wetting myself awake. I very much liked this. It just felt right. After that I started waking up wet without knowing that I wet during the night. That started to worry me. I couldn’t control it any more, and would wake up wet and actually not like it when I thought I would.
I had to reconsider my whole thought process. The result is that, in the end I had to learn to get comfortable with my new self. I was a bed wetter. I didn’t really have a choice any more. I am going to wake up wet with or without a diaper.
I love where I’m at right now. It took a while to get there, let yourself get there too! Be confident about yourself, be good to yourself, and as always, here is to wishing much love to you!
Not really. incontinent is a medical term and applies to far more than ABDL stuff, most incontinent people are not ABDL. Being ABDL is an interest being incontinent is a condition as you say if not inquire so many words. I have always been mildly incontinent and using DL is a way to take back that control.
I could make it to the restroom to the point I will not need diapers in the say but it requires a bunch of annoying steps like keeping track of when I drink. I accepted the whole DL side of it when I was working and did not want to get up and use the restroom so I put on a diaper and just let myself wet. I was quite old when I had last done that at around 13 and it was just like that. I noticed the urge and it went away in a few minutes and then after that about half an hour later I had wet my diaper and it was so sudden I could not have made it to the toilet if I wanted to.
I‘m not sure if I catch you right - but the „labeling” wasn’t the problem for me. The real problem was the loss of control and the deep impact on my self confidence what depressed me really in the first years and of cause all the other “side effects”. The labeling was - even if this my sound a bid wired - the only “positive“ think. I was an DL also before my UIC problems began and had now a “socialy acceptable“ reason for wearing.
At first I struggled with having to wear a diaper IE bulk and what people may say but not so much my loss of control as I had a few months of small dribbles and post pee surges that a real fit for men would handle. I think it was around month 3 that I accepted my need to be in a premium diaper and stopped worrying about it. After 6 years diapers and my loss of control is simply a part of my daily life and over the last year with the pandemic I have really started to appreciate being padded 24/7 with no bathrooms being available in most locations.
Thinking of myself in terms of being a DL to me made me feel this was all more of a choice issue. Hearing the Doctor speaking the word incontinent made me uncomfortable, like I had no choice, no control in this condition. That’s just me.
I had some trouble when growing up but around 50 started wetting the bed pants etc.I found the answer diabetic my wife helped me a lot she wanted me to use diapers to keep everything dry at that age the male ego was crushed not only being called incontinent but also a bed wetter.
I hear you and feel the same. I enjoy very traditional guy things; working on cars and auto shows, hunting, fishing, camping …etc. Wearing whimsical printed disposable diapers opened up a world of discovery that I’m enjoying. And the comfort, superb quality, and reliability of the diapers I wear make the incontinence much easier to accept.
I assume the male ego being crushed is because what you see as the lack of control now? So if this happens to a women does she have “female ego” being crushed? I do not see a gender correlation with diapers and bw. With my fist 25 years being in nighttime protective undergarments about 75% of the time of some sort, I looked at it more as “manning up” to my responsibility to keeping my bed dry and my partners in college and now my wife. Don’t let your one issue with BW define your entire life and manhood. Can you still fit the “male ego” stereotype in some other ways? I bet you can.
It is “unmanly” to wear diapers or do childish things, it can be emasculating. The same is true for women, but not at the same level, women tend to be more accepted if they act childishly or like childish things, its considered cute sometimes. Men tend to verbally attack men who act childish. Society is more accepting of this kinda stuff in women, society tends to think that men into being little are pedophiles that want to sexualize children.
That just my observation, and thoughts on this. I am loving some of the stuff I see on youtube lots of littles and adult babies, most of it women, which is a 180 from my first experiences online in the 90’s.
about the label, I wouldn’t consider myself incontinent, but I have been diagnosed with overflow incontinence. Not sure if I am in denial, or trying to be polite and not claim incontinence when I compare myself to people who are very incontinent and MUST use diapers, I could get by with a male drip guard if I had to for the most part. I can stay dry at night as long as I withhold liquids and I am sure to empty my bladder.
My wife often calls me a bedwetter or incontinent but I don’t care as she is very supportive and my wetting has never bothered her. Like you diabetes is the cause of my incontinene and my problems started in my late 40’s.
Those have been my same sentiments. As a kid and teen, I always knew I loved diapers, and being in them was as choice, along with using them. As I had my medical issues here in my 20s I don’t always have that choice, and have a mild-moderate IC label. In the greater scheme of things, and this happened after getting to meet my uncle for the first time in 20 some years, the only time doing so I was in diapers, there are far worse medical conditions one can have, some that cannot be managed, and some that label you with an expiration date. Having to wear a different type of undergarment to bed, that’s almost trivial compared to what many others face in their lives to live and I would rather have to combat doing extra laundry than undergo treatments to hopefully be around for a few more years. Though, with the way my living situation is, I don’t think I would even have the fight in me. Nonetheless, I see it as a manageable issue, humbling in its tools, but not a great concern. To add, I do have to say that by finding this forum, and the ABDL community, it does help to make things easier. In the beginning it was all fun, except when I had those terrible Depends, and when my nightly issues resurfaced, it lost some of its luster, had I not found this community I would have thought Depends were the only choice, or boring styles that scream hospital/senior center and don’t think I could have embraced it. Knowing that there are companies out there making far better products, with some fun designs, hell, even the accessories (thinking body suits here) takes the stigma away for me, and makes it a little fun, almost like getting dressed up to go to the symphony all trimmed and proper, I dress for bed for a restful nights’ sleep guarded and comfortable; “which style, pull up or tabbed?” “which company, X, Y or Z?”, “which design, space or pirates?”, “should I add a suit, after all it will be a cold night?” “which fragrance for the morning after, botanical rain or botanical rain?”
I have been struggling with incontinence since February 2020 and this February 7th it will be a year for me wearing adult diapers. I’m still not used to see a diaper on me
