OK, so I just got inspiration for my first ever POST/POLL here…
I am a Girl (24) AB & cg by gender, looking for another girl (preferably) but maybe a guy to indulge my needs. I admit, it has been very hard on the Net to find other girls truly interested in diapers/nappy’s.
Chatting with other members on here, and looking at posts of others hoping to meet an ABDL partner or carer, and at other abdl sites, the gender balance does seem SHOCKING!
One straight boy looking for a ‘mommy’ said in his post which compares the established ‘Fetlife.com’ to the rapidly growing newcomer Nappydate.com,
'With AB/DL so far It’s a 90% Male to 10% Female ratio"
Can this really be true? Lets find out! Please vote in my POLL. You can comment here too.
To make the poll accurate, it is REALLY IMPORTANT that you state your REAL GENDER, rather than your ‘assumed gender’ in role-play.
Okay not trying to be picky, but when you say language like
“real gender” are you talking about sex because sex and gender are not the same thing
Sorry just want to the language to be a bit more inclusive and open ( and even then saying sex can be a bit tricky because intersex ppl exist but anyway, the binary model isnt scientifically accepted generally)
just wanna be open
because if the poll doesn’t account for Women (which can be cis or trans they are not two separate genders both are women), Men (trans men or cis men not two separate genders both are men ), nonbinary/Genderqueer folk (not all are trans but some are) then I dunno if the poll is a good one or inclusive
Hi Blathers…sorry dont know what has gone wrong with this, was going to create poll and make this clearer, however cant seem to enter multiple questions in this poll, so trying to cancel it!!!
I took ‘real gender’ to mean the gender you portray in your everyday life rather than the gender you assume in role play. A lot of AB men for example are little girls/ ‘sissies’ when in the AB headspace, but their gender in their day-to-day life would still be male (whether that be cis-male or trans-male).
That said, when it comes to being AB this is one of those situations where biological sex (rather than or as well as gender) could be relevant. There are physiological differences between male and female urethras / genitals which, being as they are the parts through which they urinate and against which the diaper is worn they might lead to differences in the development of being ABDL. Plus these physical differences mean that there are differences in the average age of potty training between boys and girls and different incidences of daytime wetting (more common in girls) and bedwetting (more common in boys). As prolonged day or night wetting are likely reasons to be kept in diapers well past the average age of potty training such differences between the biological sexes could lead to a difference in how likely each sex is to become ABDL. Similarly it could be that there is a difference in how a diaper feels physically when worn between the sexes which is contributing towards the development of being ABDL. There are also likely to be differences of nurture between how parents treat their baby girls and baby boys (at the early stages of infanthood before they would have any concept of gender) and so again biological sex may be relevant.
Whilst I don’t disagree that trans-people should be recognised under their ‘chosen’ gender (I know it’s not a choice but didn’t know how else to describe it?) I don’t know that biological sex should be ignored when considering differences in the ABDL population considering many people will have developed their interest in infancy or early toddlerhood, often before they had a concept of gender, or during puberty, at which point physical genitalia could be relevant over gender.
Oh no I completely agree just want the language to be inclusive <3
and it can be relevant because your assigned sex at birth can dictate how you are raised in a society so gender obsessed (people do think whats in your pants dictates everything which is annoying)
in no way am I saying it cant be relevant, just use different language and dont
for instance ask
are you a woman
and have an option are you a trans woman
like hello trans woman are women
maybe ask, were you raised socially as a male, or assigned male are birth, but even that is tricky because the binary model isnt the be all end all
but it does play into how we are raised different in society which could impact what things we are more susceptible to
ehh even that is tricky because intersex people, but I dunno I am not super educated on intersex folk
but they can have XXY, XXX, and etc
I know it sounds picky, I mean a better question would be how you were socially raised because many societies follow the binary model for gender (which is wrong but anyway) and have different expectations for genders
Like the question is more complex than whats between your legs
I think examining how the gender binary and its expectations makes people more susceptible to certain lifestyles is interesting
also if you think about the different experiences of certain groups
for instance more men go to war, and I have seen many ppl use age regression as a way to cope
As for kink in general I think men in America are more encouraged to have “weird fantasies” and women feel there sexuality has to revolve around men and are expected to submit to the expectations of mens fantasies.. (which is a diff conversation)
but yeah its again more complicated and can’t be summed up in a simple question
its not a huge deal knowing the exact percentages for an aray of different things regarding abdl, but it can be interesting to think about.
I live in a city with a thriving Ageplay community. Somehow it’s like 50-50 or 60 male - 40 female. Some are trans or non binary, but it’s around half and half.
We have great leadership who vet new people in the community, if someone gets creepy or pressuring people will not be allowed to events and parties, etc…
If a safe space is provided and people are treated with respect, the women join in.
So, I have read and seen that sort of “statistic” (90% male, 10% female) for ABDL talked about a lot of places, but I’ve found in reality the gender ratios are not so skewed (here I’m using gender to mean how someone identifies in their day to day life). In my experience, part of it seems to be that when you label dating sites as ABDL it tends to fall to “little boys” searching for mommies, whereas there is a whole daddy dom, “little girl” dating world that often encompasses many women (whether trans, etc.) who would fit the ABDL bill but don’t always identify as such. I’ve often wondered if you combined these “worlds” if you’d see less dramatic gender differences. And just to be clear there are plenty of gay and lesbian ABDLs as well, so again, these gender ratios reported online are likely to be skewed.
My personal experiences in going to several different ABDL and kink events has been that in the reality “on the ground” you find a better mix of genders than you do in surveys or online dating sites. I won’t wade into the whys here, but that has been my experience.
Also, in my experience, the women who identify themselves as mommies or caregivers are often inundated with requests and demands from strangers without so much as a “Hello, I understand you are a real person and I should get to know you first …” So, I suspect there are plenty of women out there who would enjoy being a mommy but will not indicate that online. I do wonder what occurs for those male caregivers or daddies who identify as such … perhaps a similar thing occurs for them, too?
My advice, Jellytots, is if you want to find a partner who will love you for who you are, it happens either through going to events/munches/meetups for ABDLs, etc., or, in my case, via dating the “old fashioned way” and being honest about your needs early on.
90/10…hmmmm, not sure if I can rely on that. While the ratio of bio males to bio females is indeed staggering, we can’t rely on that statistic’s owner to represent the whole of ABDL-Land. I’ve seen places that had perhaps 75/25…there’s no way to establish a good, firm average since not every one of us in diapers will report in to a poll/census on the topic of ABDL.
Another thing that’s always perplexed me is why there are so many bio guys in this…in a society where females can be seen doing this and it’d be considered okay but God forbid even one male dare try it. America is the one big society in the world where despite how we brag about our progress in gender-equality in many areas, the contrast between genders is still quite stark…esp. in the perceived-image morality of ‘what a man should be’, e.g. all this cultural John Wayne machismo horse-sh**.
Someday, we’ll get more-reliable numbers…but what would it prove? What would it solve? Those I also wonder about.
I am of the mindset that no matter what kind of poll you create , or how far you reach with it online , it is not going to be accurate . From what I see going places and traveling , it is pretty much 50/50. In the local munch group I started , there were way more females coming out to it than male.
It’s always been there, in one place or another, at one time or another. It’s about as intriguing as asking if Adam & Eve had navels…now there’s a hot-button for ya!
I mean not really girls in abdl already feel like they can’t relate to the larger abdl community online esp, I dont think it would be seen as okay for a girl in society to do this.
I think the hypersexualized vanilla version of DDLG in media is what is 'acceptable" but not girls in ageplay who are actually little. esp if you wear diapers yeah you’re a huge weirdo to mainstream society
Also the only reasons it might be seen as okay (the vanilla version of DDLG) is because women are already seen as children, men talk down to us all the time. Its not actual acceptance. Its like how you rarely see depictions of femme doms in popular media (it has gotten a bit better but usually its just a punchline), because dominate women are seen as a joke.
Its not helpful to say women would get a free pass, like its ABDL no one gets a free pass.
yes men are seen as brute providers who can never show emotion, it goes both ways. in the eyes of vanilla culture, we are all “freaks to them”
Either children or sex-pets. I’ve seen the latter a lot, too. My ex wanted me to treat her like that; I couldn’t do it, it just isn’t right. It was one of the things that contributed to the collapse of our marriage.
