Hello, I am 18 years old and when I was 15 I was diagnosed with overactive bladder syndrome. So throughout my life I pretty much dealt with just bed wetting til I was 10 and going to the toilet constantly around 50 times a day. (Sometimes I would have the urge to go after 5 minutes). Other than that I have had no problems, but recently I started wetting the bed again which caused me to get some pull-ups. Then it progressed and I started wetting the bed heavily every night and sometimes dribbling during the day. The daytime has progressed to small accidents and I have had to upgrade from the first photo (the attends discreet mens underwear) to the thicker tena mens underwear in the second photo which was very difficult for me due to it being more noticeable at school. Then the tena stopped holding my accidents so I had to upgrade to an actual nappy with tabs and I haven’t tried them yet but the size difference looks HUGE. I went to the doctor he prescribed some tablets, didn’t work, tried a re-training my bladder didn’t work. He just said my overactive bladder has progressed alot. It’s upsetting me as I start university in october and I feel I wont be able to enjoy many aspects of it. For example I was looking forward to parties and clubbing but there is no way I can fit a thick diaper under my normal jeans (skinny ones as i’m very into fashion) as alcohol makes me need to pee x100 and there would be no bag allowed for me to keep a spare or anywhere for me to change. I’m also very worried about sports as I tried using the depends discreet underwear (the blue) to go to the gym and I ended up having an accident and leaking everywhere. The tena would be the next stage but its bulk would make it so obvious under football shorts. I used to be a very confident guy who had alot of friends, went out alot and liked to dress in the latest styles but now I feel this is consuming my life. Also the slow progression of the nappies getting thicker makes me think that eventually the latest nappy I bought wont be thick enough. Please any advice? Feel free to message me privately.
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To be brutally honest, you will need to change your “fashion style” to accommodate high capacity diapers, or put up with leaks and constantly changing your diapers .
BetterDry with a good booster fits perfectly fine under my baggy jeans, no noticeable diaper outlines.
Fashion used to be something I was really passionate about and I wanted to go into as a career. I used to do parttime modeling but now that’s not even possible I just feel my life… is just falling apart.
If going into college is stressing you out, that may be one of the reasons you’re having more accidents. If there’s any counselling services available to you I recommend looking into that as an opportunity. Severe incontinence is definitely stressful all on its own. And yeah, I agree with KitsuneFox: for the time being you’ll have to adjust what you wear somewhat to accommodate something more substantial. And maybe you can attack fashion from a different angle, like doing more design work if it’s your passion.
Still though, it is rough, I hear you. I hope things start to normalize once you’re into your post secondary!
Hi I’m also incontinent myself and I know what you’re going through I have about incontinence but you know like I said I think in your case you need more thicker once and I believe you can find them online and stuff and if you want to speak to me you could always message me and I’m always open
Hi Joshykane, and welcome to ADISC! You will find a lot of understanding and support here. I wish I could be of more help to you, but this period of life you are going through is way in the past for me. Back then the need and desire to wear diapers was not part of my life at that time, but I was socially ackward came without having the concerns you have today. We’re here for you with open and accepting arms.
As to your question about PMs, you won’t be able to start one until you have over 20 posts AND have been a Contributor for 7 days. At that time your status will be upgraded to Est. Contributor (EC). Until then people here will be able be able to contact you and you be able to reply back within that PM, you just won’t be able to initiate a PM with anyone.
That’s a difficult time of life, with or without incontinence.
As others have suggested, you need to wear diapers that are sufficient to contain leakage. Diapers that leak are as bad as no diapers at all. The challenge is to find a fashion that both meets your own desires, and hides your diapers. Everyone’s fashion sense is different, so the cargo pants that I tend to wear may not suit your esthetic, but there are plenty of ways to look trendy without wearing skinny jeans.
Hey Josh I’m incontinent myself and had to learn how to accept the fact that I needed to wear diapers it wasn’t easy but acceptance did come. Please don’t let diapers ruin college for you if your friends are true friends then they will support you all the way and be there for you. Relax take a deep breath and live your life to its fullest
Hey Joshy, did you think the blue depends were discrete enough for the gym? I have tried those for the gym and was pretty sure any that looked at me knew they were diapers. . . . maybe I was just being to self conscious.
Unfortunately incontinence does cause you to change what you wear cloths wise to hide a thicker premium diaper after 5 years of being back in diapers for an OAB I have learned the hard way a thicker premium diaper is the way to go.
There is nothing stopping you from doing anything you would do before you started to wear diaper for you OAB except maybe joining the swim team there are millions of us that are dealing with incontinence issues just like you so you are not alone once you accept the fact you need to wear diapers and find a diaper you can trust life does get easier.
Use this time to experiment with different premium brands and get some onesies tykables makes some plain colour onesies that look like shirts hopefully they bring back the polo onesie as they look like a regular polo shirt. Incontinence is a pain but it does get easier to deal with over time and out of every thing that can go wrong medically its one of the easiest issues to deal with as it does not prevent you from living a full active life.
Hope you come to terms with your need for thicker diapers and have a great time at university you wont be the only one back in diapers for a medical issue as its more common then you think.
Hi Josh. I am also experiencing a progression of my incontinence and went through a very similar experience in school. I was a constant bedwetter with occasional daytime accidents growing up. Lasted until about 16 or 17 years old. Then after being dry for a brief time period, it came back when I went away to university. Bedwetting at night became regular again (alcohol will make things worse) and then the daytime dribbles and accidents increased too. I tried male guard pads and then eventually progessed through Depends and Tena into proper diapers with tabs. I also had a roommate for a while at university, so I am not sure if that is a stress you are experiencing as well? It is a lot to process and I know it can be overwhelming. I tried fighting it for a long time and am slowly starting to accept the incontinence in my life. Hopefully you will be able to do the same eventually. You will end up making some adjustments to your clothing and lifestyle, but try to stay positive. I know how depressing it can feel. I went through the same emotions and want you to have a better experience than I did at school. You are not alone.
Sorry to hear you are experiencing incontinence at such a young age. Hope you are handling it okay. Just remember that you are not alone. We all can relate to what you’re going through and are here for support.
I suffer from OAB as well. I found using the convene optima system have allowed me to enjoy my time at university without worrying about my bladder issues
I have great news for you: you can still wear skinny jeans. They just can’t be quite as skinny. Men’s jeans, even skinny jeans, are designed to accommodate for space in the front while women’s jeans are designed to accommodate for space in the back. And men’s skinny jeans tend to be much looser than women’s skinny jeans anyway, especially in the area of concern. Get a size or two larger than your current size and you should be fine. If you get the high-waist kind you’ll be at basically no risk of anything showing when you bend over, assuming you don’t wear crop tops. Nobody’s going to notice, but if you’re feeling self-conscious about the bulk you can always start wearing longer shirts.
If you can’t find anything that works for you you could always just make your own jeans, which would allow you to have exactly what you want and need. it would be simple enough to make jeans with a skinny leg but more room around the pelvis.
I am also 18 and will be attending college in the fall.
I also wear skinny jean without any problem I also wear a pretty bulky diaper too. All I can say is that no one will notice. Mine are stretchy in the front and although there are times i think im showing, Im really not.
I have a few friends who know that I am wearing and I know that they would make sure I knew that there was a problem and have never had that issue.
